Jordan Speaks

[Rudess]

Everyone!

I have a had a great experience the last couple of days playing some very large shows in Paris and Belgium. Playing in front of 40 thousand people is an undeniable rush and challenges ones center.
Since the performing experience is often so huge, I try to use these concerts to advance my spiritual life. For example, working on things like balance and relaxation amidst higher levels of stress are incredibly life strengthening.
Finding a place inside myself that can be calm, and at the same time powerful and intense is the goal.
I'm usuing musical performance to reach the next level of awareness. Music is powerful stuff.

I am planning a voyage through out this tour and I would like to take you with me. Join me as we discover the wild world of Dream Theater on the road. Walk with me and hang with me while we investigate!
Do you dare come along..... Don't be shy, Its time!
Come challenge me. Let talk about spirit and music here. I would like to be connected to people who care about their journey and want to make it really meaningful. Lets do this!
.
THIS CAN BE A PLACE TO FOLLOW MY STORIES. IT CAN ALSO BE A WONDERFUL PLACE TO LEARN FROM OTHERS THAT WANT TO SHARE.
LET'S BE ARTISTS HERE. ANYTHING IS POSSIBBLE.

Does anyone have any stories that they would like to share with us?
Lets start an artist conclave where people communicate together to reach new awareness.

Keep the ideas coming!!!

THANKS
Jordan

....

[King_Ellesar]

hello mr rudess! was pleased to read that post. i cant wait till you guys come to tampa this tour. me and my friends are gonna try and get real close floor seats for it. i've been really anxious the past few weeks and august 8th cant come any later. we had this crazy idea of seeing if we could treat the guys of dream theater to a fine after show dinner at the famous steak and shake, on us. haha. they have some wicked milkshakes (including recees milkshake!:D), and the food isnt that bad. lol, anyways, real excited to see you guys when you come to the ice palace...

about spiritual music, i happened to read your post while i was listening to the soundtrack to the movie Hero. i know soundtracks arent always everyone's favorites, and i'm sure there are better examples out there than this, but i feel a strange spiritual connection when listening to it. very simple, and repetative, but it just gives me this vibe...puts me in this state mentally. i can relax. i think inwards, examine my soul to see what kind of person i really am. i feel more focused when i hear it as well. i dunno, it's weird, and hard to explain, but it is what i was listening to and seemed like it related.

ive noticed certain lyrics on octavarium recently, that for some reason didnt stick out to me before. especially during these walls. some of the lyrics seem to put my spiritual situation into words exactly.

tear down these walls for me
stopping from going under
you are the only one who knows i'm holding back

it's not too late for me
to keep from sinking further
i'm trying to find my way out
tear all these walls for me now ....

everytime you choose to turn away
is it worth the price you pay
is there someone who will wait for you
one more time - one more time

i'm not sure if these lyrics were written with a spiritual meaning in mind, but i think it certainly can apply. i was driving home one night listening to it by myself, and it just suck out at me and i was like...dam, that is really powerful. more powerful than i heard it at first. so listening to that song, hearing it put that way, makes me examine myself as well, examine my spirituality.

i havent really thought much before about why i like to play music, it just seemed like something i enjoyed doing, had fun with. but i never really wondered why i enjoy it or have fun. i think making music makes me relax. helps me clear my mind and helps me find balance. what a powerful and moving experience that must be in front of 40 thousand people!

i wonder if sometimes we get distracted in our music and dont really realize it's full potential. that might be why i wasnt moved as much at first listen to these walls. maybe i wasnt listening close enough. maybe i wasnt open enough.

i like your ideas. i'd love to get some sort of project going with people here, if that's what you meant. i think it'd be cool to have more open talks about spirituality. it may better influence us both musically and spiritually.

heh, just thought about a question, maybe should open in a new thread, but: is music a form of spirituality? art seems so closely linked to spirituality that i think they just go hand in hand, if not are equals. has anyone read the silmarillion? this question reminds me of the very beginning of it. Tolkien describes the beginning of everything with music. One God made other lesser gods, the Valar, and their job for a long time was to make beautiful music for Him. Throughout this part and other stories, they come back to talking of the musical theme played in the beginning of time. i dunno, i just think it's beautiful, and inspiring ;)

i'd actually think it'd be cool to get people to read it, and interpret musically what they think that theme would sound like based on how Tolkien puts it. I'll post some parts of the story for inspiration later if anyone is interested on making this happen. i'm working on music for another part of the book, and am not close to done yet, but i think this "The Music of the Ainur" could be a cool product...

[keythief]

Music is the UNIVERSAL language....as people, we may not know how to speak with our tongues to others, but our ears can hear and our hearts can recieve and our fingers can translate any emotion via musical tones. The feeling of complete euphoria after a well played passage, be it in your apartment or in front of 40 thousand people, speaks to your soul, making you feel more complete as a person, more in touch with Life, more in tune with the cosmos....
My personal experiences with music have left me with nothing but a greater appreciation for Life and have most certainly nurtured my spirit and my soul. The sense of peace derived through the playing of music can be likened to the relationship one feels with their God...it is comforting, it is confidence, it is completeness...and as with the study of philosophy...the more you learn, the more you become....Close your eyes before you hit that next note...let your mind relax....let your fingers move....don't play with your brain, play from the heart....let it sing....you will reach what you are....
Peace and Love

[Darth Gandalf]

I thought "i walk beside you" was pretty spiritual, if you think about it.

[King_Ellesar]

Music is the UNIVERSAL language....as people, we may not know how to speak with our tongues to others, but our ears can hear and our hearts can recieve and our fingers can translate any emotion via musical tones. The feeling of complete euphoria after a well played passage, be it in your apartment or in front of 40 thousand people, speaks to your soul, making you feel more complete as a person, more in touch with Life, more in tune with the cosmos....
My personal experiences with music have left me with nothing but a greater appreciation for Life and have most certainly nurtured my spirit and my soul. The sense of peace derived through the playing of music can be likened to the relationship one feels with their God...it is comforting, it is confidence, it is completeness...and as with the study of philosophy...the more you learn, the more you become....Close your eyes before you hit that next note...let your mind relax....let your fingers move....don't play with your brain, play from the heart....let it sing....you will reach what you are....
Peace and Love

well put man. just what i wanted to say, but in less and better words. i always write too much :P

[nismael]

Playing in front of 40000 people is probably the experience of a lifetime. It must be such an intense moment. But I think that you can reach great places, maybe not as intense but differently as good even when you play for smaller crowds or no crowd at all, be it alone or with other people. Music can be so powerful like you said...

For someone who his as recognized as you, who has reach a point where music flows through your hands and your mind, it probably takes more than the excitement of 500 people to reach that place you're talking about, but for someone inexperienced like me, 500 people is like 40000!!! I have to admit that sharing your music with 40000 people must be such an enormous bust of energy, an incomparable and indescribable feeling.

Depending on whether I play with a band or alone, I don't really feel the same way. Playing with a band gives me more a feeling of sharing my music with other players and reaching a place together as playing alone gives me more a feeling of control and intimity with the music. It's like taking a ride in the wood with my friends or going there alone. I tend to get in a more calm mood when I play alone and something more intense when I play with others. A good crowd il always good to add some intensity too!

I think the way we play is definitely the way we are. Our emotions, our experiences, our love for life, the people around us... they shape our musical spirit and influence the way we interpret and compose music, and this unique spirit give us the possibiity to share a part of ourselves with others.

[Nolan]

From 40000 back to 0 .

i'm setting up my keyboard right now in the middle of a big hall (where I normally have weddings etc. up to 300 people).

Hook it up to the PA system, only use a little of the red, blue and green stage light and make sure for the rest everything is dark.

Now I can start to improvise uising the different set-ups of my K2500........

Furthermore only a bottle of chocolatemilk ;)..........

It makes me intense happy. Hope it gives inspiration that I can write down here.

Coen

[normthesamurai]

Thats inspiritaion right there. 40 000 people! wow. I'm only in last year of school so the most people I've played infront of is 400 people a couple of times. So Jordan any chance of excersising your spirit in Australia sometime soon. Unfortunately my funds are limited So sounds like I'll miss out on this tour. Maybe Ill come see a concert next year.

[gaz]

^he's not the only deprived aussie here. Jordan, you would'nt quite have 40,000 fans at a concert over here, but there are still plenty dying to see you. I know its not your decision though so i will leave it.

On topic, ive probably played in front of 200-300 people on a few occasions with my old band. it was hard, it was like a metal band i was playing keys for, i didnt really enjoy the music so it was hard to get into it sometimes.

I am still a beginner, slowly developing my technique, so i havent the ability to really create something worth getting emotional over when improvising by myself.

So i envy you, Jordan. Not (just) for your utterly amazing talent, recognition, and status as an amazing keyboard player in the top prog group of the new millenium, but for your ability to be proud and shameless of what you create on the keyboard, and your ability to reach that level of spirituality and inspiration that shines through everything you play.

Hope everything is going well on the road.

[Taurus]

I dont think i can reach the same musical awareness and spiritualness I have when playing for 40.000 people than when I'm playing alone.
I like to play slow newage music on the piano. It works better when you actually -listen- to what you're playing and adjust your playing style/expression to that, constantly.
It's hard to talk about it, but I think there is something highly spiritual when doing this.

I also find listening to my own recordings (when they're finally in perfect state) is spiritually.

When I look at how some music connects me with happenings in my own life, then this can very spiritual too. I believe lyrics do most of the job, but melodies usually get stuck to somebody's mind when it happens at a certain timing in their life. In this case, not all of the lyrics will be taken litterally, just those few sentences that apply to their own situation. So actually, lyrics are really versatile, spiritually.

Agree?

[St0rMl0rD]

I know what JR means by that post. I've started to experience this feeling myself for the last year or so. In music that I play, although sometimes it's not very much of my taste, I always find a moment that gives as much inspiration as possible, and then I try to double it with my performance. And since my music follows me everywhere I go, I always (try to) stay in this kind of gr00vyness...

JJ

[Rudess]

Part of what I am talking about is the ability to remain in control when the pressure is on. Sometimes just having one extra person in the room can add a level of tension that will make it more difficult to create the music that you really want to. It's about getting an understanding of one's self that is the key so you can overcome any obstacles and always do your best!
This is my lifes challenge and what I am always working on.
The 40,000 number is an extreme example of outside influence that effects the way I feel and therefore the way I handle my musical performance!

Let's also share ways that we each gain control in more high pressured situations. FOr example I will do a lot of stretching and balancing exercises before I go on. I have alos tried just sitting quietly with my eyes closed before the gigs. This is especially tough though when in a small dressing room with lots of noise and people around. That does not mean it is impossible though!

Today is a day off in Belgium. A good day to collect my energies and prepare to rock Greece and than Turkey....

Musically,
Jordan

[St0rMl0rD]

I myself, always try to find a place inside me, where I can always be safe and feel secure and home. I understand what you're trying to say with "it's not always necesarry for other people to be in the same room when creating music", because it gives a kind of tension in the air; I personally am a lot less creative with other people around me, even with one person in the same room, my concentration will fall and I'll feel like that person is expecting something from me...

Have fun out there Jordan, and don't put too much pressure on yourself!

JJ

[lighthouse]

I practice Iaido (as some of you already know ;-) ), it is the practice of the japanesse swordmanship. It does not has a practical use when you think about it for self defense purposes, cause the core of the martial art is self development, both fisical and spiritual, get in touch with your surroundings, that includes people, and be aware that all you do influence the environment you move in. So I practice Iaido and through that and prayer (I´m a catholic) I´m able to calm myself and be focused on what´s important, express my true self in my music and therefore enjoing the whole trip

I leave you with this, the principles of the Samurai:

# Know yourself.
(Jikoo o shiru koto)

# Always follow through on commitments.
(Jibun no kimeta koto wa saigo made kikko suru koto)

# Respect everyone.
(Ikanaru hito demo sonke suru koto)

# Hold strong convictions that cannot be altered by your circumstances. (Kankyo ni sayu sarenai tsuyoi shinnen o motsu koto)

# Don't make an enemy of yourself.
(Mizu kara teki o tsukuranai koto)

# Live without regrets.
(Koto ni oite kokaisezu)

# Be certain to make a good first impression.
(Hito to no deai o taisetsu ni suru koto)

# Don't cling to the past.
(Miren o motanai koto)

# Never break a promise.
(Yakusoku o yaburanai koto)

# Don't depend on other people.
(Hito ni tayoranai koto)

# Don't speak ill of others.
(Hito o onshitsu shinai koto)

# Don't be afraid of anything.
(Ikanaku koto ni oite mo osorenai koto)

# Respect the opinions of others.
(Hito no iken o soncho suru koto)

# Have compassion and understanding for everyone.
(Hito ni taishite omoiyari o motsu koto)

# Don't be impetuous (rash, passionately impulsive).
(karuhazumi ni koto o okosanai koto)

# Even little things must be attended to.
(Chiisa na koto demo taisetsu ni suru koto)

# Never forget to be appreciative.
(Kansha no kimochi o wasurenai koto)

# Make a desperate effort.
(Issho kenmei monogoto o suru koto)

# Have a plan for your life.
(Jinsei no mokuhyo o sadameru koto)

# Never lose your "Beginner's Spirit".
(Shoshin o wasurubekarazaru koto)


Juan Pablo

[ffox]

I understand it very much.

You can physically gain control in more high pressured situations like you said: the stretching, balancing. But you can do it also mentally. Just remember you're in the best band of the world and there's a reason for that. Remember that you have played so many gigs, learned from any possible mistake and took precautions. So even when 40.000 people watching, the playing itself is a kind of 'routine' job, right?

Any thoughts?

Just enjoy it all. I really, really hope you guys get to play more often in such large venues. DT in the Amsterdam Arena stadium *drools* :D

[ImaX]

I also think it's a kind of personal control that you have to reach so that you can play the same way in a crowd as alone at home.

I noticed it one day after listening to live-records, and I realized that I was always hitting the keys very strong and had a bad timing sometimes.

I belive playing music is a kind of feedback-contruction (yeah, from the viewpoint of an engineer) that allows you to adjust your playing to what you hear. With some practising you could surely play without hearing yourself, knowing how hard the keys should be hit. But then again I love to listen to me playing, and since it's a very subjective thing I can only tell if my playing sounds good when I hear it - I can't say "after hitting all those notes this must have been a great song", I must hear it and then react to what I hear and adjust my playing.

Live you have often too much around, epecially in front of 40k people. It's very hard normally to listen to your own playing and adjust, since to have to keep an eye on the other musicians, on the way you're looking since all the people are watching, and this, and that...

Jordan: what do you exactly expect from getting your soul down before the gig? I'm sure this will be a great addition to your playing and you'll be more sacrificed in a musical way after the gig, because you felt every note... but wouldn't that in standing quiet behind the board all the way, eyes closed and your mind deep in thoughts? Wouldn't you think you would loose the contact to the people in the crowd too much?

If I didn't get the point I'm sorry, just my 2 cents ;-) great topic!

[Alucard]

@Jordan: when i was younger (8-9 years old) and i started to touring Italy making classical pianoforte's concerts and contests, i began to be more stressed and nervous. That situation grew up so big that at the age of 11 i didnt want to play piano anymore in front of an audience.
So we made a trip in India with my family...a vacancie of 20 days...and we returned with new "conciousness" in some aspects of the life.
After that i entered a course of Hata-Yoga that combine phisical-position and mental exercises in order to prepare the body and spirit to a sort of Meditation...
I can say that in my case that worked so better, that i started to "feel" the music really not as a trial or a show, but as a lifestyle that can give so much to me and others.
Sadly some problems, made me to do some steps backward, because that kind of mental and phisical approach must be continued in time, if not effects slowly fade out...

[EdKeys]

I think I get the point that JR is trying to make. I used to be very nervous each time that I played live until I discovered something. There is a feeling that makes me feel better each time I have to play to one, ten or 300 ppl. That feeling is that every single person that is seeing/hearing u, has by nature a certain kind of respect. When I got that I understood that there is no reason to be nervous. Of course that people make mistakes and theres times where the player might have a terrible night or whatever, but the point am trying to make is that the state of mind that I try to be when I play is the same as the one I have when am listening some one. I try to remember what It felt to see someone play, that makes me more comfortable....


Edkeys

[ChrisMcCoy]

The most I ever played for was 10,000.
August 13, 1989 in Inwood West Virginia (Shiley Acres amphitheater), opening for Warrant.
The "Heaven isn't too far away" video had gone to number 1 on MTV the same week as the show. My adrenaline was through the roof, and I have to say I've never felt that way in my life. I was almost trembling when I heard the crowd noise as we went on to play. Mentally, I'd have to say I almost zoned out from the rush. It was a set of all originals with a cover of Zepplin's Rock n Roll thrown in at the end as the final song. I walked on the stage trembling with excitement, and walked off shaking from feeling drained by the rush. Staying focused was hard because of all the excitement I felt playing in front of that crowd. The bass player told me he almost threw up on stage from the excitement. But once we started playing, everything just sort of fell into place. It was an outdoor summer show and people were just going nuts ! I may never repeat that experience again, but you never know :)

[Phred]

I really like what Jordan said about one extra person can change the creativity...

Playing in front of people who you know to be skilled keyboardists is hard. I had a gig like that in may. I played a great first set and there was this guy staring at me the whole time... After our set my guitar player told me that he was a fantastic professional blues/rnb organ player and on most of the blues albums that come out of Ottawa/montreal.

Knowing he was there made the 2nd set harder. It was like I couldn't get my mind off of him. When I forgot about him, I relaxed and played better. I need to worry more about what is going on in my own head anself and less about what is going on outside of myself...

The audience that DT atracts is mostly made up of skilled musicians. I guess you get good at blocking that stuff out...

[shred child]

Wow. This thread really impressed me. Jordan I'm glad you want to include us all in this. I do understand what you mean about staying centred and focused in a high pressure scenario and I think it applies to everything, not just music. Everyones been putting in their stories of playing music infront of people (wich I thouroughly enjoyed reading) but what of other aspects of life? What has helped any of you reach another state of conciousness or awarenes? Where your mind is entirely set on your goal alone. During the summers here in Canada I work as a volunteer for an outdoor education/adventure school. Last summer my group consisting of 10, 12-14 year old boys and 3 other teachers, were rock climbing on the side of a cliff. We had all the anchors and everything was as safe as we could make it. Everything was going great for the first half of the day. We took a break for lunch and right after we resumed where we had left off. As one kid climbed he loosened a small rock. The rock fell and collided with a large boulder. The boulder then rolled of the rock from about 40 feet from the ground. It landed on one of the other teachers. The boulder broke her spine, her hand, knocked her out and resulted in a compound fracture of her leg. We were all in absolute shock. Miles away from anything. The boulder had rolled off of her so luckily we were able to get to her and perform all the first aid we could. The kids. The kids were all unbelievably shocked. Most were crying as we had all grown very close like a family and to see someone they cared so much about hurt like that was devastating. I had to hold her leg straight to keep the bone that had punctured the skin from tearing more skin or breaking anymore. My attenion was on this alone. Admist the screams of my coworker, the screams of the kids and the confussion of how we were supposed to get her out of the middle of nowhere and to a hospital......so hopefully you get what I mean about pressure and scenarios that can happen whenever. So I hope this litte post made some sense to you guys and I'd love to hear some of your stories...and keep the stories about music commin too. Those are great.

[LittleKezza]

I played this venue once. It was a very strange and awe-inspiring feeling to 'walk the same boards' as some great musicians over the years.

I have decided that DT should come play there too.
THAT would be an experience!

We'll catch up soon JR!
K x

[Nolan]

I just started out in a new band ( a couple of months now)

I'm still struggling with the lack of playing live over the last few years.

On stage I'm insecure about chords, sounds and a lot of things.
This keeps me from enjoying it fully.
Every time I'm happy that I made it to the end without screwing up big time :)


I'm practising and programming to reach that one point.
But there are several mountains to be climbed.

First the technique has to work they way I want (my synth)...
the music has to be learned by heart in a way that I can afford to dream off on stage whilst my fingers do their work......

And finally, I want to be surrounded by musicians who feel the same.
That when you look at them they immediately know what you mean and can anticipate.

I used to come real close with my previous band. There were those moments (although they were short).

When technique and dream unite..............and everything falls into place.
It's a nice goal to go after............. and I thank you Jordan for inspiring me to do so. Each concert/clinic I see you play, gives me new energy to practise.....

And practise makes perfect they say


Coen

[El_Verdugo]

Mr. Rudess,


First I'd like to say you're my favorite musician (and I'm 12 years old). My father is a musician and raised me as a DT, Satriani and in general rock fan. I'm just starting my road as a keyboardist and I just wanna say you ROCK!! I'm having a bit of a problem findin a synth though. Well, I just wanted to say hi.

[Taurus]

Hmm. Well, I seem to play way better live in front of audience when my girlfriend comes a long to watch. There just is something comforting about it, like it doesn't matter what I do, it will turn out great any way. It feels good and makes me be more myself without having to think about all the strange people that are watching me.

[lighthouse]

I think Shred child is on the right path, my opinion is that Jordan is trying to go further than just how you feel playing in front of large/small crouds, I think that that´s an example that we all can relate in one way or another. Music, like any form of art transcend into ourselves in ways that we cannot even start to imagine, and that because art is mostly a consiuos expresion of our subconscious, and that´s the beauty of it, you somehow go so basic into your being that you are able to comunicate on that level to other people, and what conects us is our spirits, so be in touch with your spirit and to know how you really are will bring the best out of you, in your relationships, with your surroundings, and in the ways you comunicate (language, music.....art in general)..

my 2 cents :D

Juan Pablo

[keythief]

How do you play to the best of your ability when you know that people are watching....wow...always a tough one...
From my piano teacher at age 12 ( I could always get it right at home ! ) to the guy in the front just staring at you all night ( who is he ? )...to auditioning for a new band ( geez...they musta thought I sucked )...I think we all feel that pressure at some point in time....it's very difficult to relax and play your best when the "eyes" are upon you, and yet secretly ( or not...) is this not what we all want...to be recognized...to have our peers applaud us...to feel that wonder of accomplishment...to share our message with others...to share our emotion with others...to share ourselves....
When I play live I believe everyone in the house is there to hear some good music and to share the experience with me...I act and think as if we are all together in a giant stage production, where everbodys in character and we're making a dreamscene...these people came to see me...but "I came to see them" and together, we are going to transcend the moment and make this a magic night that they will tell their friends and family about for years....sounds good until you realize there are only the bartender , his girl and 2 drunks at the end of the bar....in that case...it's live rehearsal and whats more relaxing then just jammin' with your mates ( yeah I know ...but thats a different kind of music :)
When you become secure and confident in your abilities it becomes easier to relax ( easier..but never easy....as JR has quite clearly pointed out ) I believe that the single most important thing you can do to prepare yourself mentally is to PRACTICE !!! Without this you can't even hope to achieve any sort of "peace" while you are playing in front of people....you'll be thinking way to much...
I KNOW !! The most I ever played in front of was about 2000 people opening up for Nightranger back in '87..or was it '88...anyway we were known locally, so the gig, being at the college made it feel like home turf...so it was easy to relax, even sitting on the stage during soundchecks BS'ing with Brad Gillis I was totally relaxed...then we went on stage in front of those people and I damn near threw up...I thought I was cool ( even wore shades like "Fitz" ( Nightranger keyboardist ) thought I was ready....I couldn't even look at the crowd... I just knew they all were staring at me cuz I just played a D instead of an E...But that was the first song and once I got through that and actually remembered to breathe..LOL...it got easier...and by the closing tune I was tipping my Ultimate stand onto two legs and TOTALLY into the moment!!!! I know the only thing that kept me together was my confidence in myself...
and the sunglasses....

Lighthouse... that was very well said...and I totally agree..

[shred child]

I think Shred child is on the right path, my opinion is that Jordan is trying to go further than just how you feel playing in front of large/small crouds, I think that that´s an example that we all can relate in one way or another. Music, like any form of art transcend into ourselves in ways that we cannot even start to imagine, and that because art is mostly a consiuos expresion of our subconscious, and that´s the beauty of it, you somehow go so basic into your being that you are able to comunicate on that level to other people, and what conects us is our spirits, so be in touch with your spirit and to know how you really are will bring the best out of you, in your relationships, with your surroundings, and in the ways you comunicate (language, music.....art in general)..

my 2 cents :D

Juan Pablo



wow....exactly!

[Thefunkygibbons]

I was speculating that DT might play the Royal Albert Hall this tour, but it was not to be.

My joy in music is actually watching the effect it has on my children and knowing that by being involved in music gives them a chance to be creative and at the same time keeps them off the streets and away from bad influences

I just wished I had learned when I was a child

[ImaX]

Generally, not only talking about music, we all think too much about the opinion of the people around - in the result we don't do what we want ourselves to do, instead we do what we think the others would like to have.

I can sit at the board for hours in the evening, just playing stuff and imagine a crowd around me listening to that, cause I think they must love it... but when somebody tells me to play something on the board I'm always thinking "which song is good to play without a band, which one could he know and like..." so in the end there's nothing special that comes out.

I guess one thing is, that we care a lot about the opinion of other people. On the other hand your playing should fit the atmosphere to let the spirit flow. When I'm alone in my room I can have any atmosphere I want to have, insert a live-CD and shred all the way, or turning the lights of and change to piano stuff. Then of course I can't play something nice when I'm asked to play on a party, who would listen to piano music between dance music?

It's not only music, it's everything related with expression... if you paint a picture, design a homepage, do some brainstorming... all people around you will have great influence on you, and besides all the positiv effects it takes something from your own spirit, as long as you can't go into yourself and react without thinking about the others.

[Berrido]

I think DT should come to Dominican Republic, that will raise my spirit enough.

Now, speaking seriously. Music, its such a great drug, I love the feeling that gives me when I`m on stage, the same feeling that gives me when I`m at home, in my bedroom, alone with my keyboard, or alone with my guitar, or simply listening music, with a cigarrette in my hand. Ufff!!!

[mesavox]

Addressing the clearity added in your second post Jordan, I'd have to say the biggest key for me to being comfortable in a performance situation is preperation. If I know the material well, to the point of knowing the chords well enough to move around in them should my memory draw a blank, and know that I'm not going to freeze up, I genrally do pretty well as far as feeling that I'm communicating well.

Most of my experience comes from playing in church in front of about 300 people which is obviously in a communicating spiritual things to people with the music. If I can't make eye contact with the person in the fifth pew, I get the general idea from that that I am somehow not communicating something properly. Often it's litterally being too focused on myself or how I'm percieved. In that situation it's about anything but myself. With that, sometimes it goes beyond musical preperation and having the music come off properly. Sometimes the music may come off great, but no one care. And other times, the music may not come off quite right but people leave encouraged, lifted up, and generally excited about what they heard from us.

In concert situations, obviously people are there for a show. They paid money to see and hear a show. Then it becomes more about me to a certain extent. I can't be the weak link. Preperation here takes center stage. If I am questioning a chord here or there, how it goes into that major seventh at the bridge and I keep playing a minor seventh instead because my fingers are in some sort of strange stubborn mode and not wanting to stretch that extra fret or whatever. lol... then I'm a nervous wreck and for whichever songs I am not prepared for (even songs I normally know by heart can jump out at me and I'll find myself totally unprepared for no real known reason) and it usually carries into other songs that I am prepared for because my mood is set.

I approach that like an athlete would a game. Step up to the plate and imagine the places the ball needs to be before you even swing the bat, much less decide to swing a fraction late to push the ball through that gap the short stop is leaving. Imagine the routs the receivers run to know where the ball should never go before deciding if you need to adjust because of a coverage the forces the receiver to run a longer route. Of course all this is even preceeded by visuallizing the plays before you step up to the plate or on the field as well.

I close my eyes and visualize my fingers from both my poit of view, and the audience point of view. I remember when I used to watch guitar players and want to play because it looked elegant from the angles they would shoot them playing in those videos. The camera looking down the fretboard, up from the floor, Nancy Wilson banging the pointed headstock on the stage with her big poofy blonde hair bouncing around... talk about an 11 year old in love... lol. Anyway it had the same effect the opening to Star Wars does with the ships flying over head with the intense music blaring and the blasters flashing as it destorys the radar dish of Antillie's ship. It's the whole package... the visual, the aural, the feel of the guitar... So, I try and visualize a successful performance. Every song... playing through the bridge, the key change at the second chorus.

I also use this time to think of things that inspire me. From bible verses to Freddie Mercury taking an audience on the Day oh ride. The way he would conduct a song with his hand stretched out to the audience as he walked like a character from a Shakespear story about the stage. Brian May playing the Somebody To Love solo... Brian's answer to the why is Queen still together question..."I suppose it's because in the end Queen is bigger than any of the four of us." Jordan Rudess singing and playing "we're having a wonderful time, playing music for our friends" on the Itallian fan club video made during the SFAM sessions. John Petrucci's solo on Live In Tokyo. Kee Marcello's solo at Europe's Hammersmith gig on the Final Countdown tour. DC Talk's "The Red Letter" performance on thier Supernatural tour (boy did that further prove thier underated status as musos!)

My goal in this time is to get the technical side down (midi and effects switching, the setlist, the monitor mix) and then seperate it from everything else and almost forget about it. Hopefully I'm sort of quickly creating a sort of muscle memory on the technical side, and relying on the fun and excitement to carry the performance. I even go so far sometimes to imagine that I'm at the Rainbow in 73 ending the show propper with the Woah woah la la la's of In The Lap Of The Gods Revisited. lol. Try that one guys when there's 10 people in the crowd. lol The things I saw as a starting muso that seemed so amazing to me.

With all of that it seems to always boil down to just allowing myself to be excited about it. We can get so caught up in ourselves. "I'm an old pro by now" type stuff that makes the whole thing seem a bit rudimentary. I try and remember the days when a mixing board was the most astounding thing I had ever seen. I try and allow myself to go back and feel that feeling in my stomache when I first saw a massive lighting rig at a concert. I try and recapture that feeling when I got my first tube amp or brand name guitar. When that stuff seems like mere tools of the trade, and I'm bored with it... it's time to go to work.

It's the same spiritually. When I can't relate to that excitement that grabbed me at becomming a christian, it's time to get off my high horse and stop acting like I've all been there and done that.

If I can't make swishing sounds to describe what I'm hearing when I present a song I'm writing to the band, I know that I'm becomming too nuts and bolts about it. I like the nuts and bolts. The augmented second, the diminished triad.... but if I can't sing the guitar riff... chug, chiga, chug.... with excitement then I wonder if I really believe in the riff anyway.

[Foad]

i'm glad and also proud of having such a great remote teacher as you.
when i heard you for the first time 2 years ago, i felt like a window opened in my mind.
you showed me how to express your dynamic mind thru music.
i don't know how to explain that to you. But i can just say that you are one of the most importent/inspiring persons in my life.

greetings, foad

[Georges]

Often, the key to relaxation does not lie within a resting position but within the fluency of your body movements, consequently sports (in particular martial arts/sports incl. tai chi, dancing, swimming, etc.) are a very good way to get relaxed and to free your body of "blockades". Ok, I imagine though that on a tour this may not be so easy to perform for everyone; in particular it does not help concert fever to go away in the short run.

I have alos tried just sitting quietly with my eyes closed before the gigs. This is especially tough though when in a small dressing room with lots of noise and people around. That does not mean it is impossible though!

Normally, people sit down but they become impatient after only a very few minutes forgetting to focus on breathing and environment.

The following is a technique which definately works and which we regularly perform at the end of our Filipino martial arts training sessions, it's most efficient when performing it together of course (as always). Okay, don't know if I can describe it with simple words here, I just try (expecting your questions for the rest).

Beware: in order for this method to function optimally, a Yoga seat is used which will give rise to a slight pain in your legs or feet (during the time you are sitting). You may also use any other easier Yoga positions:

http://www.yoga-vidya.de/Asana_Uebungsplaene/Meditation-sitz.html

Or if you are scared of such things, simply sit on a chair.

1) Sit down on your knees, then SLOWLY sit yourself on your feet, i.e. sit with your buttocks on the feet. Preferrably do this on a soft floor, not on a hard floor, in case of logistical problems, put a piece of cloth on the floor and sit yourself on it. Keep your back straight. Your head should look straightforward. This is a Yoga seat ("Vajrasana";"Diamond seat") and therefore be careful not to force the body too much, always go slowly - the good side effect of this seat is that it is very good for digestion and it helps relaxing your stomach. To give yourself a picture of this seat: http://www.yoga-vidya.de/Asana_Uebungsplaene/Meditation-sitz.html (check for "Diamentensitz"; a woman with blue jeans and an orange top; her hand position is slightly different though, anyways, just a small detail)

2) Put your hands on your upper legs or put one hand into the other to form a circle between your hands and thumbs.

3) Close your eyes and keep 'em closed. Start breathing through your belly.

4) During 1-2 minutes concentrate on your breathing, imagining the way your breath takes from your belly (breathe in) to the rest of your body (breathe out). Breathe in and out through your nose. Keep the mouth open, let your tongue rest behind the upper front teeth. Ideally follow the breath from your belly to the extremes, e.g. feet and hands, because that will prolong the breathing-out process. If you feel any pain in your feet or upper legs, let it be there and imagine your breath go there, do NOT concentrate on your pain, concentrate on where it hurts (a subtle difference), then "breathe it away", i.e. follow your breath from your belly to that place with each breath.

5) Keep your eyes closed. During 1-2 minutes, listen to the different sounds in the environment, try to concentrate on the various sounds but do not dwell on any of them, or you will start thinking and thinking is not good for relaxation. Try to locate the sounds in the room. If there is pain in your feet/legs, try to "breathe it away" (such as described here above)

6) Keep your eyes closed. During 1-2 minutes, try to locate things and people in the room. Try to feel the next person(s) to you, the location of the walls, a chair, a door, whatever is in this room.

7) Open your eyes VERY slowly. Look around in the room without moving your head.

8) Do not stand up yet. As you had some pain in your feet or lower/upper leg(s), it is important to stretch your body. Bend your body forward (until the point where you buttocks still rest on your feet), and try to reach and touch with your hands (which hold each other) a point in front of you, your head should be between your stretched arms and looking down, no need to touch the floor with head and arms - your body should ideally be a line from hand to the back when bent this way. Keep this position for a few moments, don't forget to breathe.

9) Now bend back, and slowly (!!!) stand up. However, do not simply stand
up, get on your feet first (slowly), then slowly stand up (keep your head faced to the floor or your feet), the head should be last to bend up.

Finished.

What are the advantages of this method ?

The advantages of the above method are the following:

- already efficient after only 5 minutes
- there is procedure to follow (breathing, listening, feeling, stretching), which avoids that it gets boring (impatience problem = solved), moreover, it keeps your mind from thinking, which is very important
- can be performed in any position, ideally sitting position though

If using the diamond seat, the additional advantages are the following:
- the position is suitable after having eaten, as it will helps digestion
- the position does not invite you to sleep, which would not help you to relax
- you learn to strengthen your senses: listening, "seeing without looking"
- the pain forces you to focus on breathing (which is one of the ways to become relaxed): the diamond seat will start to hurt after a few minutes usually, that's normal, in particular if you are not used to it yet; don't stand up immediately only because it just started to hurt, let the pain be there for a few moments, try to breathe it away or you will never overcome that point; pay attention though not to exaggerate and pay attention when getting up back on your feet (do this slowly)

N.B.: It goes without saying that it always best to seek advice with an instructor (in particular regarding the Yoga component). Therefore the instructions above here are meant as guidelines but not as a replacement of the real-time advice given by a qualified instructor, the Yoga component is to be used at your own risk!

[Georges]

Today is a day off in Belgium. A good day to collect my energies and prepare to rock Greece and than Turkey....

BTW, that's quite close to Luxembourg. ;)

[Piranha]

wow.. the most I ever played for was, like, 5, and I couldnt stop making mistakes.

[LithoJazzoSphere]

I find that being comfortable with your material is the first key. If you are uncomfortable with certain portions of a song, that will probably be the section that throws you off track. This is a matter of practice and familiarity. I have played for several hundred people a number of times (none paying). I rarely feel nervous, unless I am singing lead vocals. This is most likely because I've spent little time training my voice, and until last year I avoided singing in public at all costs. I find that many times I concentrate too hard on my own playing, especially in a band context. I've learned to try and not concentrate as hard all the time, and pay more attention to what other members are playing, and how the audience is reacting, to take in the whole atmosphere. This really changes how I look at music performance, when rather than just sitting by yourself at a keyboard, you now have a triangle - yourself, the other musicians (if any), and the audience.

Victor Wooten has addressed this point on one of his videos that I watched, and that is, to have your technique and knowledge honed to the point where your instrument is an extension of yourself. You don't have to think about your playing, it just comes out. Most of us are familiar with this in some areas, for example, typing. We generally don't think about how to type, we just conjure up words and ideas, and our fingers let them come out without much effort. It would be so nice to arrive at this point on a musical instrumental, where your feelings and emotions were translated directly to the instrument. I know that my skills are certainly not sufficient yet, much is "lost in translation."

[Margaret]

Jordan,

It's the first time I'm seeing this topic and I love it since I think it deals with a problem that many artists are facing.

My experiece was about two weeks ago.
My local music school has to close its doors since the local authorities have decided to stop investigating in it any longer. So therefore me and my flutemates were playing a demonstration gig at the city hall right before the meeting about this matter. There was a pretty big crowd watching and everytime I felt my nerves coming up, I'd simply take a deep breath, focus on my body, my breath etc. Then when I start feeling calm again and yet focused on what I'm playing a thought simply pops up as in: 'If any of you out there watching can play this better than I do, then do it'!! This thought helps me to be more confident since I know that most people out there don't play flute themselves ;)

Another way for me to relax right before such an appearance, I go to my room, withdraw myself and do some 'Pilates' to DT's music. Especially the intro to 'Octavarium' suits that kind of excercises. Pilates focuses on the breath, on total control of the muscles and it makes you feel very relaxed. Pilates also stretches the muscles a lot which is good, especially when you still have to go on... Jordan, it really works, so if you're interested there are plenty of instructional dvd's on Pilates. Good luck!! :)

p.s: Nope.. Pilates is NOT for women only ;)

[ImaX]

A question to Jordan about your spiritual journey:
-------

Is there a kind of developement during the tours? Usually there are a few totally songs in the set which need your concentration, beside that there might be alway some new countrys in which you haven't been playing before.

So in the end besides the daily things that happen there are a lot of things during such a tour that keep your mind busy during the free time and during the gig itself. Is there some kind of relaxing after a while? Maybe after having the songs perfecly in your mind, after having a number of good gigs....

So what develops in your mind during such a tour?

[Georges]

When I was a young teen, we were dancing in front of 5,000 people in France and at Polish TV, etc. Then, we actually learned (without consciously knowing it) that if your practicing was sufficient, nervousness would only be a matter of the first dance, say first song.

When later on, I started to play keyboards or with the bands in front of people, nervousness was still showing up (and still is today) for the first song. However, the biggest problem I have so far encountered is playing outdoors late in the evening because you'll have to deal with in the midst of the performance: cold hands. THAT can be a real pain, in particular when the last piece contains the most difficult parts of the evening. You actually hope that people are freezing as well, so that they do not pay too much attention to what you play.

[St0rMl0rD]

so, do you guys ever play with mistakes because you "fall into" your performance and your concentration on your playing diminishes?

[Rudess]

I just got home from the first whirlwind tour and began to read these posts!
I'm so glad I started this topic.
Thank you ALL for some amazing insights into helpful ways for us all to become more grounded and spiritually connected for performance and otherwise!
I am excited to be home for a short break before taking off again for the US tour. Now to go focus on my breathing!

Musically,
JR

[EdKeys]

Good to hear from u Jordan. I hope you can rest while ur home. Am looking forward for the TX gigs. Good luck....

Edkeys

[TritonuS]

Ill try to make this short:

Smile and breathe.

Smiling sends out a positive signal to the audience and my bandmembers, who will mirror it back to me. The audience sees that I'm having a good time and doing well, instead of wondering "if that part there went the way he wanted". I'll receive smiles from (at least) my bandmates, which gives me a good feeling, and helps me relax -> play better!

When I go on stage I'm usually slightly nervous, as most of us are. I can control it by thinking about my breathing. Slow and steady, in through the nose, avoiding "shallow" breathing where I would be filling just the top part of my lungs. After a bit of practice this has proven to be very effective in preventing my hands from shaking or other psycho-somatic symptoms.

Performing is always more or less stressful, but whether or not we let it affect our playing is really up to us. Smile and breathe. Might not work perfectly the first time, but in time it will.

Peace,
Kai

edit: @Storm: I used to make mistakes because I got too deep into the music, which made me almost hyperventilate. It took me a while to learn to control my breathing so that I my playing wasn't affected no matter how intensely I was living the music.

[Analogkid]

I dont know much about karma, i'm not even sure I totally believe in it. I guess being a christian im really not supposed to acknowlege it. So, call it what you want the good grace of God, karma, what have you. Their really is an ebb and flow in the world. When I am aware of my actions in everyday life I know I reap the rewards of being a good christian and a good person. Lifes struggles can muddy that waters from time to time- work, relationships, children and so on. When these things happen I have to tell myself to slow down and stop for a minute. I take a look around me and and thank God for all I see, feel, and hear.Every morning I thank the Lord for another day with friends and family and the life he has given me, as well as hello to the ones that have passed on-(miss ya mom). The music I play helps to gound me when I get lost on my journey. When i'm grounded I play better I laugh alot and love more. Is this sappy? I dont know its just the way I feel. Be good to the people around you and you recieve it back 10 fold.

This isnt my soap box, as I would never ram religion down someones throat, its not my style. Its more about spirituality than religion. I would invite anyone that doenst have a reason for being to try and find his way. Seek and you will find me.......

My 2 cents

Analog

[Margaret]

Hi Jordan,

I'd like to make a small addition to what I previously wrote. By practising Pilates there's one main goal to reach: Total control of your muscles and breathing, but the thing is... that you need to do this so conciously that it will make you forget about all other 'inconveniences' such as nervous feelings :) It's just you and your body... and eventhough it takes some strength, stamina and focus you'll still be very surprised by how relaxed, mentally refreshed and satisfied you'll feel afterwards, READY to go on and ROCK! I'm glad you resumed to focusing on your breath ;) LOL.
Let us know whether it works for you or not, ok?

[agamemnon]

There is a certain level to music where the force of it drives you rather than the other way around. Some have done it on they're own and others achieve it through the people they jam with. I think Jordan to be one who did it alone through study and practice but jamming with legends, backing them up and being backed up, and seeing his own music and achievments have real impact around the world has given him the gift of insight to the other side.

Many of us can only keep trying and dream.

So many things are involved in maintaining the inspiration that seem to have nothing to do with music but in fact have everything; enviornment, drive, passion, drugs, etc...

Some are lucky because they've been at the right place for a very long time waiting for the right time to catch up.

After seeing increasing youthful interest in non-mainstream bands continuously increase, I think a new musical era is upon us, and is being led by the players themselves, rather than the buisnessmen and middle people.

[Alessandro]

Wow what a topic!
I have a recent experience to share as far as relaxation is concerned. A few months ago I was studying hard in order to pass the admission test for the Conservatory and I was playing with a negative attitude I. E. everything MUST be perfect and I was too rude towards myself when I did a mistake. One day this wrong behaviour caused me a panic attack and I needed 2 months of psychological help I.E. take pills in order to recover. This period has been a great lesson for me: when I play it does not matter if it is in front of 1 or 100 people because I love playing and it's the Job I want to do in my whole life. I just focus on the music and I experience a sort of isolation and I find myself in a wonderful world without space and time It's just me and my k2600! I have to admit that sometimes I'm not able to reach that kind of psychological situation but with the help of some Yoga exercises and a sort of "Be self-confident" autotherapy I feel that I'm learning to master my emotions. BTW The day of the admission test at the conservatory I played very well I remember that I was full of joy during the exam... and I passed it!!!

[The_General]

Hi All
This is my first post on this site, so just quickly, hello to everyone.

I'm not a keyboardist, I'm a bassist, yet truly admire the power keyboardists have over the music that passes their ears. The keyboard world is probably the most expansive in the musical universe, and power is great to those who can harness it. But, on that point, being technically proficient doesn't make you a great musician.

I'm not the best bassist in the world, by any means, but the one that I am absolutely certain of is my passion for what I play. If I can feel passionate about what I'm playing, then I perform without stress, nerves or worry. To love what you create is something beautiful, and that beauty comes out on stage in your performance.

Whether i'm playing to 40 people, or 40,000 people, i'd still get scared to touch that stage if i didn't think i was playing from my heart.

I'd like to hear all your thoughts on this too, as i'm sure most of you will agree with me.

Kind Regards

James

[Eric Zane]

I'm still getting nervous about performances, but I think the key to solve most of it is partly, what a lot of you have stated, to calm down and breath slowly and controlled, partly ask yourself "why do I shake/get nervous?" Answer the question yourself and know the answer, get familour with it and try solve it -- not at once, but over time.

So, next time somebody's asking me "play something?" I'll not just go "erhm ... yeah, okey". Instead, I'll smile back and say "sure thing" and just focus, and enjoy the play.

[Guitarshreda]

I'm not a 'regular' here on these boards. I'm a guitarist, so while I'm signed on to all the DT boards, I hang out at the JP forum a lot more. However, I couldn't help but to be drawn to this thread. The spirituality of music. As I've often found, music is that bridge between different cultures, breaks down language barriers, and can connect people in ways that can't be vocally spoken. Add upon that, really well developed lyrical content, and you have yourself a masterful way of communicated to anyone who wishes to better themselves.

Take Sacrificed Sons, about the 9/11 attacks. The opening is so eery (after the samples). I envision walking the streets of downtown NYC on a normal morning. The piano part really sets the over-all mood. Throughout the song, musically you are taken through a journey of that day, and lyrically you are taken through the minds of the people witnessing these attacks, or watching the coverage on TV. I remember coming home from school that afternoon, to find my father watching the coverage on TV, and everything spoken through these lyrics is eerily familiar.

As for the performance aspect, its really hard to get caught up in the moment, and VERY hard to stay grounded and concentrated while you are playing in front of 4 people let alone 40 thousand. A lot of times I just concentrate what I want to get across as a performer, what this music means to me, and why I want to share it with the rest of the world (or whoever wants to listen). That at least gets my mind off of the crowd. We as musicians have been given a gift. A way to touch people not only through words (if we are lyricists or vocalists), but through the universal language of music. One of the few constants on this planet.

I remember playing a recital a few weeks back, for a guitar festival up in CT. And while my playing wasn't 'amazing', one of my friend's mother came up to me and told me how she LOVED the piece that I played on classical guitar. So enjoyed it so much, it actually brought her to tears. Just to know that I was able to touch at least one person, and move them, and to share my feels and passion of the piece was just amazing.

So to all performers, famous or not, remember there are people who are in the audience for a reason. To hear the music, to hear WHY you are playing not just what.

[organmeister]

Everyone! Since the performing experience is often so huge, I try to use these concerts to advance my spiritual life. For example, working on things like balance and relaxation amidst higher levels of stress are incredibly life strengthening. Finding a place inside myself that can be calm, and at the same time powerful and intense is the goal. I'm usuing musical performance to reach the next level of awareness. Music is powerful stuff. Come challenge me. Let talk about spirit and music here. I would like to be connected to people who care about their journey and want to make it really meaningful. Lets do this! Part of what I am talking about is the ability to remain in control when the pressure is on. It's about getting an understanding of one's self that is the key so you can overcome any obstacles and always do your best! JR

I play the Kney tracker pipe organ for 125 people at the 1st church service and for 400-600 people in the 2nd service. I also like to improvise and play the blues on piano and clavinova.

I used to come to every performance with an unhealthy nervousness. I am a perfectionist so my expectation level is extremely high. I have been playing for 25 years. One of the problems I started with was an ego problem. When I started out, I thought the performance was mostly about me. I thought the people were thinking about me. At some point maybe 22 years ago or so, I started realizing that most of the people were thinking about themselves. This took a lot of the pressure off. Also having played for 3 years in front of people I gained a certain amount of confidence which sublimated the nervousness. Taking the risk of performing in front of people is always a good learning experience. Sometimes, you may want feedback from them and other times it may not be helpful or necessary.

As I got better, I realized that the pieces I was playing could be played more musically and more accurately, also. I then began devoting my time to being true to the music. That meant I started really practicing and striving for perfection. Not practicing too fast. Not allowing mistakes to go by uncorrected. If I practice a mistake, I make sure to play the same passage 3 times without a mistake. It takes that much to overcome the bad that went into the motor memory.

At this point, I began to believe that the performance was totally about the music. In fact, I thought that ignoring the audience and focusing totally on the physical requirements of playing the music was what was required. My teacher and colleague and I started discussing whether it was possible to play and communicate a piece perfectly, but also be thoroughly immersed in enjoying the music at the same time.
We believed that this would be the ultimate achievement for a musician. The goal: Play it perfectly, communicate exactly your interpretation and thoroughly personally enjoy listening to the music while performing it. To play safely (a French organist teaching term for accurately) and to thoroughly enjoy simultaneously seemed to be mutually exclusive goals. The danger we find is that of getting lost in the musical sound. This all seemed to me to be an impossible situation for achieving perfection. When I want to reduce stress, I stop the getting lost in enjoying the sound and focus on what the fingers are doing. I also found that strength training with weights was helpful. Practicing more was increasing the strength of my fingers, also. Playing music is definitely like athletics in many ways.

I am finally beginning to realize how awesome the creation of the universe is. Each planet, star, galaxy has its own frequency that it is emitting. (Only harmonics of which may be faintly audible in a subliminal way to humans.) This is the music of the spheres. The creation itself is continually playing music. Living beings especially birds and insects but also whales, dolphins and other animals are making what aurally appear to us to be music. Good Vibrations are all around. Music was the first type of worship by human beings and continues to be the most moving form of worship.

I finally realized that my music should be played to the glory of the Creator. Not the composer, but the Creator of us and the universe. This led me back to the idea that performance is mostly for God, the ultimate creator (and listener/communicator). It is also about the music, about the composer, about yourself, the conduit, and about the audience, your friends and fellow admirers of music. As a conduit for music, I work hard to physically master the technicalities so the audience won’t be distracted by mistakes and in order to have mastery enough to incorporate the expression (communicate). As a conduit, my music will be a form of worship. Also, taking the attitude that I am a conduit of the musical creation, I can enjoy the music with the audience as if it is emanating through my discipline. At the point of performance, I no longer worry about the mistakes. Live, they are inevitable and fleeting. Most musicians blow them all out of proportion especially when they make them themselves.

I want to strive for an approach that is hopefully more humble, more thankful, more awestruck, and more in tune with the universe. With this approach I hope I can make a “joyful noise” without the incredible stress of thinking about my image, whether the audience will like me or think more highly of me, or whether the notes were played perfectly. What do I want now? I want each performance to emanate from the Creator, who loves His creation, through me to the audience, the Creator wants to reach. If you believe the Creator is Love, then your music is a gift of love from him through you and for your audience and yourself.

So the way I see it for myself now is for me to try to eliminate the unloving things I do and think, so that I can be closer the Creator and a more valuable conduit for His love. This is no easy thing and I have barely scratched the surface but I am striving and hoping for this.

Sorry this is not as concise as what I wanted to say. It does reflect my musical and spiritual journey to a certain extent. I still believe that music has a showing off component. However don’t the Himalayas, a flower, the deep blue sea and “the vast expanse of interstellar space, where no man has gone before.”

I played my first solo organ recital in May, 2005 at what most everyone in this community would consider to be an old age. I’ll post a link to one of the pieces I played in the Show Off section. The recital wasn’t perfect, believe me, but it was better than anything I had done previously in music. It also got me to a stronger place to take on the Senior recital.

By the way Friday, Aug 5, my son, his band and I will be in Atlanta at Gwinnett for Gigantour. Hopefully, we will get to meet Jordan in person.