Alicia Keys and Keyboard Magazine (warning: EXPLICIT)

[Scrap]

What the hell is Alicia Keys doing on the cover of Keyboard Magazine?

But before the rant, here's a little history.

Keyboard, in the 80s generally featured musicians such as Tony Banks, Dave Stewart, Kurt Harland, Rick Wakeman, Steve Walsh, Patrick Moraz, Richard Wright, and so on. In general, very keyboard/synth heavy guys, which back in those days meant progressive, new wave, and pop music (and more recently, the likes of Jordan Rudess). And for the most part, they were reputable musicians.

I don't have anything against female musicians. I wish there were more of them, actually. And Keyboard has featured quite a few of them, such as Tori Amos, Nellie McKay, and Norah Jones. All of them have made it in music because of their talent, not their image. So here's mark #1 against her - she is simply not in context with Keyboard's readership.

Secondly, Alicia Keys is just stupid. I mean, mind numbingly stupid.

She appears in Keyboard in skin-tight clothing, almost half naked, laying on a piano.

Now, hold on a fucking minute, did I just pick up a copy of Maxim? I didn't think so.

Okay, so there is an actual interview to be had here. Maybe there's more to her than I thought.

Nope. Check out some of these wonderful nuggets of knowledge:

"but Stevie Wonder has magic "superchords". No one really gets the whole chord. You'll get the majority of it, but there are some notes that are always missing..."

Holy shit, Stevie Wonder is holding the secret of "superchords" up his ass, which he farts out on occasion, along with happy fuzzy rabbits that squaredance over a bright rainbow. Apparently learning music theory just isn't 'hip' anymore, because you'll never learn about those magic SUPERCHORDS! Oh fuck, all you losers going to college for music education just wasted thousands upon thousands of dollars. I bet you all feel fucking stupid now, don't you?

"I practice a lot of scales now. I find that it's really important for me. It helps me move around more quickly..."

How do I even make fun of that? It's just too easy.

"I like to make up my own scales..."

Holy shit. Throw away all your theory books right now, Alicia Keys is rewriting them all herself! I say again; holy shit! She's just so revolutionary that she is able to come up with her own scales, thereby negating thousands of years of formal music structure.

Lead the way, Alicia. :P

[Liquid Shadow]

I actually burst out laughing at that last one.


How pathetic...

[VINOD]

Are you sure you brought a Keyboard magazine

....... may be someone accidently switched covers of
a keyboard magazine and PLAYBOY
LOL
:D

cuz that's what Alicia Key's is Good for

[Over The Edge]

So Scrap, does that mean you wouldn't do her? :lol:




FL
www.franklucas.net

[StandBuilder]

Frank!!!

Thinking about that on your age???
You should be ashamed of yourself.............

Stainlessly,

PS

[Over The Edge]

I'm sorry if I offended you Patrick my friend.
Please let me make it up to you with a peace
offering.


http://www.amadoo.com/galerie/Alicia-Keys/akeys2




FL
www.franklucas.net

[Over The Edge]

Oh, did I say "peace" offering.

I meant to say "piece" offering. :lol: :lol: :lol:





Breathe Patrick, breathe.

That's it, take it nice and slow.

Air is good....yes. Air is our friend.

That's better. :lol:



FL
www.franklucas.net

[Scrap]

So Scrap, does that mean you wouldn't do her? :lol:




FL
www.franklucas.net

Well, I have nothing against partaking in 'the chocolate', so to speak, but I like my women smart enough to able to at least operate a can opener, y'know. ;)

And for those of you who might be interested in even more offensive mocking, here's a bit of conversation between me and King_Ellesar (but keep in mind that I'm part asian myself, therefore there's no racial hatred involved in my following statement about Mr. Okumoto</disclaimer> :P

(initially discussing Spock's Beard "Thoughts, Part II")

MassaToKEAH: I'm going to record a cover of it.
MassaToKEAH: At least, the easy parts.
MassaToKEAH: The acoustic intro, the keyboard parts, the end. ;)
MassaToKEAH: The mellow keyboard part rather.
MassaToKEAH: Soon as I learn that sucker.
aragorn9840: awesome
aragorn9840: yeah, good song
MassaToKEAH: Y'know, like Ryo says... "they like to drag me out and kill me and then suck my cock!"
MassaToKEAH: Damn flat keys.
aragorn9840: lol
aragorn9840: the question is, are they flat...or sharp???
MassaToKEAH: I dunno, man, maybe that's part of the whole SUPERCHORD thing. Just way out of my grasp, man.
aragorn9840: well, it's spock's beard....i highly doubt they have any knowledge of the SUPERCHORD....i mean, cmon, theyre spock's beard, not stevie wonder!
MassaToKEAH: Well, you know, Ryo is one of those savage asian people.
MassaToKEAH: He might've eaten one of the bunnies that came out of Stevie's ass.
aragorn9840: possibly
MassaToKEAH: Thus, absorbing the knowledge of superchords into his consciousness.
aragorn9840: i see

[Lurion]

Man, this just keeps on getting better and better!
By the way, I saw a poster of her once with a half nacked picture and a series of statements such as, She rocks on stainway, She flows on Kurzweil, she plays like an angel... It was quite funny.

And one question: how the hell can she play scales with the finger posture she uses? Flat fingers for playing scales (or for playing anything decent, for that matter)? Come ON!!! I'd take her on a chromatic run challenge any time, and I'm not even good at chromatics!!

And yeh, the bit about inventig scales... She might invent a new technique, though: playing comfortably in high heels and with a 200 gram 24 karat gold ring on each finger!!

[Taurus]

I'd hit it.
Though that magicsuperpowerchord thing is just so redicilous I cant believe that article has been posted.

[Grey Loki]

If she carries on like that, she's going to have to give up certain priveledges...
















Like breathing :twisted: :twisted:

[Drusillus]

People still read Keyboard Magazine? ;)

Fuck guys, at least she actually PLAYS her instrument, which is more than you can say for any of her peers. I saw her play some solo piano stuff on an awards show and she was pretty good. Considering her popularity, good enough to be in Keyboard I would say. Don't be so high and mighty :)

[merijn]

Poor Alicia, I mean she actually had fans...

[Scrap]

People still read Keyboard Magazine? ;)

Fuck guys, at least she actually PLAYS her instrument, which is more than you can say for any of her peers. I saw her play some solo piano stuff on an awards show and she was pretty good. Considering her popularity, good enough to be in Keyboard I would say. Don't be so high and mighty :)

OMG DDI SEH PLAY AN Y OF TEH SUPAHCHOADS?

But, no, really. I think Norah Jones is above and beyond Alicia in every way possible, and irregardless of genre, they should be considered peers. They're all girls with pianos, I say. ;)

Ultimately, Norah just isn't as 'base' as Keys, and doesn't feel the need to show off her body whenever possible.

[VINOD]

Considering Norah Jones and Alicia Keys in the same category is the Biggest insult ever for N.Jones

Norah jones is a musician whereas alicia keys is nothing more thn a wanna be

Comparing both is like comparing Beethoven and a Half-Witted Monkey

[TDunbar]

That last one made me burst out too - lol dude you just made my day with that post! hahaha!

[Phred]

As usual I agree with Drusilus.

She might suck technically compared to JR, or half the people on this board but considering her genre she can play. Norah Jones is a better piano player, so is Diana Krall, so is Vanessa Carlton (at least I think she plays piano), Tori Amos etc...(my opinion anyway).

Granted she may be stupid and that interview doesn't help her in the intelligence standing. However, she may have just misjudged her target audience. (You'd think doing an interview for keyboard she should have known better - but I am giving her the benifit of the doubt). If that had been a typical interview for some teen mag do you think she could have said "Stevie Wonder uses augmented chords without flattening the seveth and unusual chord voices that make it hard to figure out what he is playing." Or "Instead of using typical blue or jazz scales, I try mixing up my modes. "? Since she is used to doing stupider style interviews and there are only so many questions in the world I imagine she has already given answeres to these questions and these are the 'stock' answers - targeted at non-musicians.

Regarding the technique: Have any of you ever seen Stevie Wonder play keys? He has a great DVD out about the making of the 'Songs in the key of life' album - us old guys will remember this album. (I recommend this DVD - fantastic). In it he does some great playing and even some "superchords" :) . However, you get a great look at his technique. It does indeed suck. Even I who don't have stellar technique can tell this. Very flat fingers, but they are fast and accurate.

My 2 cents.

P.S - Say what you want about comparing Nora to Alicia and make your own choice (I've made mine), but know this: Norah writes very few of her own tunes. They are mostly written by her bandmates. Of the tunes that she does write, she freely admits stealing the melody of one from an old tune and just putting lyrics to it (can't remember the details but she announced this live).

Alicia Keys is credited for writing most of her own tunes. Her first album had a prince tune, but the others were her own. Food for thought.

[StandBuilder]

If Alicia is a good musician or not.... I dunno and I don't want to continue the discussion....

But...

I'd rather have her behind a piano, (or maybe even more ON a piano)
then Rick Wakeman, David Paich or..... :?: :?: :?: Frank Lucas.

Sorry guys, I'll have to find another topic, because if I go on like this,
Frank Lucas' heart will give him some troubles maybe... :P

Stainlessly,

Patrick

[Deceit]

I hate her music, her genre, her boring piano ballads (would you call them ballads?) and her voice.
I guess that's why I listen to Manowar these days.
Deceit.

[Cary]

However, she may have just misjudged her target audience. (You'd think doing an interview for keyboard she should have known better - but I am giving her the benifit of the doubt).

I would place the blame for misjudgement on Keyboard magazine. Maybe they should have used better discretion than to "dumb it down" that far.

[YtsejAmir]

my opinion (of course), alicia keys is a great singer and she play nice on the piano, i listened to a few of her songs and i enjoy it, its a bit strange to read her dumb answers, and funny, but it dosent matter to me, if i enjoy her music then who cares what is her knowledge in music theory? who cares if she dosent have a good technique?
its easy to make fun of people and its entertaining... but in the end its a matter of taste.

[Zorbas]

alicia keys is a great singer

Actually in the newsletter of the music school I went to in the US they recently had an interview with some of the instructors from the vocal department in which they gave their opinions on some of the young popstars of the moment.
On Alicia keys they said that if she keeps using her voice the way she does that it won't last long because she is straining her vocals chords.
I don't know jack of singing technique but these are people who've been performing and teaching for quite some time so I'm gonna take their word for it.

And Manowar, I used to love those guys. They're way cheesy (and I mean CHEESY) but they do have some great tunes. They're actually pretty cool if you're willing to look past the whole "true-metal-macho-man" pseudo-philosophy crap.

[Lurion]

What??? Looking past the tru-metal-macho-man pseudo-philosophy in manowar?? If you do that what is the point in listening to manowar? Even the fricking chord progresions in their sweetest ballad sugest a true-metal-macho-man attitude! Everything manowar composes, writes or does is true-metal!! Even when they go to the loo!! Thats why they are one of the best bands out there (and also one, if not THE, cheesyest). Grab your sword and stand up to the fight, brother!!

P.D: if you're not into metal, you are not my friend!

[kevmo_fan]

Woah were we talking about shit-ass try-hard popstars or good music?!

Alicia Keys = shit. sorry to say that... its just my opinion... don't like her voice... don't really like the type of music she plays (again, just my opinion) and WHAT THE HELL IS WITH HER 'I'm a stupid-try-hard-bitch-wannabe-musician SUPERCHORDS?!'

LOL SCRAP, I swear, when you wrote the whole 'Supahchoads' thing, I nearly fell off my seat laughing... the only reason I COULDN'T fall off my seat was because I was already rollin around on the floor because of the inventing her own scales thing.

It's not that I have anything against females playing the keyboard... I mean, I'm a female keyboardist and I think its great having chicks playing the keys... just WTF, LEARN UR THING, WOMAN!

AND another thing... Amiel was on the cover of Korglink which surprised me... I didn't know she played keys... let alone owns a Triton Extreme. I was like :shock: *blink*

Anyway, just my stupid comments for the day.

[Omega Monkey]

The problem with Alicia Keys is her target demographic. She has to be ghetto and street for people who are into the type of music she makes to be into her (because they are very image conscious generally, and no I dont mean black people in general, just people that listen to a certain type of music). If she ditched all that nonsense, and went for a jazz/fusion sound with it's more sophisticated and musically inclined listeners, I think gradually, she would get away from all the ebonics bullshit and be a lot more eloquent. Seeing clips of her playing live, the arrangements are MUCH more interesting than on the albums, with lots of cool little intricate parts and things like that.

As far as the superchords and making her own scales thing. I dont think its that bad what she said. Stevie Wonder does use a lot of crazy chords that are very distinctive harmonically, and its likely that they go beyond the standard nomenclature (ie A#min7add9 or whatever), so I dont see anything wrong with the way she referred to them. I mean, Im sure most of us who play music have heard something where we're like "what mother f'ing chord is THAT?" and be kind of like haunted by it for a long time until you figure it out.


I read a book once that was explaining that a scale is just a set group of notes. So for instance a chord is a scale. A melody is a scale, etc... It really makes sense and makes music a lot easier when you think of it like that. Yes there are the "standard" scales, but the definition of scale doesnt end there.

I will say her music is decent for what it is, but I think she is capable of a lot more, and it's kind of sad to see what she has become due to the state of the music industry. 25 years ago she would have been more along the lines of Patrice Rushen or someone like that with a bit more musical cred.

[Over The Edge]

Ha ha ha ha ha,

I just got a vision of Scrap imbibing on the chocolate stuff! :D


At least I can now concentrate on this instead of that massive
orgy that Standbuilder initiated at Woodstock back in '69.


FL :lol:
www.franklucas.net

[StandBuilder]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

And a great succes that was, looking back afterwards...

Man, it is really great to be back and fool around with Pops again....


Stainlessly,

PS

[Liquid Shadow]

As far as the superchords and making her own scales thing. I dont think its that bad what she said. Stevie Wonder does use a lot of crazy chords that are very distinctive harmonically, and its likely that they go beyond the standard nomenclature (ie A#min7add9 or whatever), so I dont see anything wrong with the way she referred to them. I mean, Im sure most of us who play music have heard something where we're like "what mother f'ing chord is THAT?" and be kind of like haunted by it for a long time until you figure it out.





But if she's being interviewed for a keyboardist magazine (which is read by people who DO know stuff about music), then she ought to realize that it's ok to not make idiotic comments.

That's assuming that she was able to show that kind of control over herself...

[Margaret]

If Alicia is a good musician or not.... I dunno and I don't want to continue the discussion....

But...

I'd rather have her behind a piano, (or maybe even more ON a piano)
then Rick Wakeman, David Paich or..... :?: :?: :?: Frank Lucas.

Sorry guys, I'll have to find another topic, because if I go on like this,
Frank Lucas' heart will give him some troubles maybe... :P

Stainlessly,

Patrick

Well said P@!!
Personally I don't understand why some of you are bashing her for being in Keyboard Magazine. Of course, you're all entitled to your own opinion and it's ok for not liking her genre, but she sure does a great job in her genre and well... her way of playing the keyboard seems just perfect for her songs to me. And then again, by publishing an article about Alicia Keys goes to show you that Keyboard Magazine is an open minded mag that's willing to publish articles about a wide variety of artists and that rocks!! :twisted:

Just my 2 cents...

[StandBuilder]

:shock: :shock: Well said??? :shock: :shock: :shock:

It seems I haven't made myself clear, when I was writing down my serious comment...
.........Strange....................

. . . . . . . . . .


. . . . . . .


. . . .


.

Whoah...
I know where it has gone wrong...
:idea: What haircolour does Margaret have??? :P

Stainlessly,

PS

[Liquid Shadow]

Well said P@!!
Personally I don't understand why some of you are bashing her for being in Keyboard Magazine. Of course, you're all entitled to your own opinion and it's ok for not liking her genre, but she sure does a great job in her genre and well... her way of playing the keyboard seems just perfect for her songs to me. And then again, by publishing an article about Alicia Keys goes to show you that Keyboard Magazine is an open minded mag that's willing to publish articles about a wide variety of artists and that rocks!! :twisted:

Just my 2 cents...


I don't think it's a question of her music or her ability to play it, but rather the fact that she seemingly has no freaking clue what she is talking about. Superchords? What the hell is that? And could someone explain how the hell you MAKE UP A SCALE when every combination of notes has been compiled in scales and chords in books with the purpose of putting every possible scale together for reference? With the point that music has reached these days, there is no way to "make up a scale" that doesn't already exist, and that's just plain dumb of her to even say that.

[evadedcadence]

ok.. so i'm late with this topic, but TRUST ME, i heard it all FIRST HAND from teh_scrap who was sitting about 3 feet away from me while he was first reading the article.

i personally think keyboard made a risky choice by putting Alicia Keys on their cover. as someone who used to work in the magazine subscription industry, sometimes doing risky things will help a magazine pull out of a decline in sales. what if this cover attracts a different demographic than the "usual" keyboard mag covers? and what if that different demographic subscribes to the magazine based upon that ONE issue...? then they've just increased their subscriber base, at least for one year... and studies show that if someone subscribes for one year, they're 75% more likely to renew that subscription.

man, i sure did remember a lot of that "magazine stuff" ... now why did i leave that seriously GOOD paying job?! oh yeah.. to study music. ;)

-michele

[Lurion]

And could someone explain how the hell you MAKE UP A SCALE when every combination of notes has been compiled in scales and chords in books with the purpose of putting every possible scale together for reference? With the point that music has reached these days, there is no way to "make up a scale" that doesn't already exist, and that's just plain dumb of her to even say that.

There was a pretty damn good guitarist I read about in Guitar (his name has completely dissapeard from my memory for some frustrating reason) who said he was trying to invent new scales, coming up with names like "mixo-goth minor" and the likes. What he was really doing was inventing new fingering (what a funny word) and basically altering the patterns he was using to play the scales. In the end he said the whole issue wasn't halfway serious.

[pmarafio]

Interesting and amusing dialog about Alicia Keys. I'll go on record as one who appreciates her creativity and her unique voice in today's music. She has successfully integrated hiphop, R&B, and jazz into her sound and she refects the sound of popular music in our time. I do agree that the choice of her for a Keyboard cover story was risky and controversial. The interview content was pretty light, but perhaps some of the blame should go to the interviewer for not channeling the discussion to the interests of their readership. I'm still a little pissed at Keyboard for not doing Jordan's latest CD justice (one short paragraph for a review!!)

A couple clarifications:

I have to cover a lot of Stevie Wonder tunes at my gigs. He *does* have difficult voicings to decipher credibly. What makes them even more challenging is the depth of his orchestration and the thickness of the patches he uses. He frequently overdubs multiple harmonic backing tracks on his tunes. Many of the inner clusters of his voicings blend together and are difficult to hear clearly. Add to that the challenge of getting the right patches to faithfully represent his music! Many keyboard players end up butchering Stevie's stuff or diluting it so it sounds like wedding band music rather than the works of a genius. Alicia's choice of words aside - they are by no means standard chords or voicings.

As for "inventing scales", I have to confess that I do this as well. Listen to the work of great players like Michael Brecker, Hancock, Mike Stern, Petrucci, Mike Landau, etc.. and you'lll hear an ever-changing pallette of scalar patterns over altered harmonic structures. Diminished scales morph to inverted diminished scales (flip the series upside down), whole tone scales morph into mixolydian modes, one or two tones in a series is sharped or flatted, chromatic series are interwoven, etc. The tension created by these alterations is what makes their playing unique and interesting.

To limit yourself to the few dozen scales our music teachers gave us would limit the reaches of your playing. Check out the Nicolas Slonimsky THesaurus of scales and melodic patterns http://www.playjazz.com/AC011.html for an examples of the endless possibilities of scales and patterns. Coltrane used this as a reference for his studies - for example, try playing scale #393 over a Db7#9 chord - that's a whole lot more interesting sounding than using a mixolydian mode!
[/url]

[Liquid Shadow]

As for "inventing scales", I have to confess that I do this as well. Listen to the work of great players like Michael Brecker, Hancock, Mike Stern, Petrucci, Mike Landau, etc.. and you'lll hear an ever-changing pallette of scalar patterns over altered harmonic structures. Diminished scales morph to inverted diminished scales (flip the series upside down), whole tone scales morph into mixolydian modes, one or two tones in a series is sharped or flatted, chromatic series are interwoven, etc. The tension created by these alterations is what makes their playing unique and interesting.



Alternating between scales is FAR different than "inventing" scales. I'm a fan of The Brecker Brothers myself, as well as guys like Scofield and Allan Holdsworth, and I'm quite familiar with that type of thing. Mixing scales together in sequential order is something totally different than pulling a brand new scale out of your ass. You mentioned that book with the thesaurus of scales, and one look through one of those shows anybody just how impossible it is to make up a scale that hasn't been thought up before. With the incredible amount of musicians not only alive this very moment but all the musicians that have EVER been alive, there's absolutely no way that anybody can invent a melodic sequence that hasn't been done before at some point in time. Every scale has been covered before.

[Drusillus]

C C# D# F F# G A B

What scale is that?

Or did I just make it up? :shock:

[King_Ellesar]

sorry to burst your bubble, but that has already been made up. it is called the Drusillian Scale. hah. but seriously....(assuming that isnt really a scale)....isnt there a set definition of what a scale is? i may be wrong, but it seems like random notes can't be considered a "scale". if i am wrong, someone correct me. and if i am wrong, what i think the point is is do you think alicia keys has made up, and used in her music, such a scale that has not been thought of yet? a "scale" like :C C# D# F F# G A B which may be some sort of "new scale" would most likely not be in her music anyways. i actually went to my piano and played it and it sounds kinda neat...sounds like it is in dance of eternity for some reason. that being said, i think it is safe to say that alicia keys (judging by the style of music she plays) probably wont have such a scale or any other new type of scale that isnt already discovered and familiar to the popular audience's ear. unless of course, alicia keys has some superior knowledge that we are not aware of and is a lot better than we give her credit for. maybe she is about to change her music into something completely different from what she is doing now. who knows. maybe she has unlocked the secret to the SUPERCHORDS! and can therefore use these advanced and uncommon scales and chords in her music now. :wink:

...but for some reason...i highly doubt it.

[Liquid Shadow]

Scales like that can be found in those books that consist of nothing but scales and the most tripped out names you could imagine.

[MarkDTMMZ]

Though I agree that some of the things she said in that article were silly, Alicia's music is not about super technique. Alicia is a great songwriter, and her music is about the groove, and the feel, not how she can play the piano. "Diary of Alicia Keys" is one of the best albums from 2003 IMO, and I think it's great that she gets the attention she deserves. I was glad to see her on the cover, though I hadn't gotten a chance to read the article until I saw some of her quotes here. Is some of what she said a little dumb? absolutely, but not every artist's music is about their technique.
For instance, in Rock a band like Rage Against the Machine uses simple riffs and forms, but it's the groove, the attitude, and the feel of their songs that makes them so great. Technically what works for RATM/now Audioslave is that Tim and Brad are one of the tightest rhythm sections ever, and obviously Tom's revolutionary/original guitar work.
Alicia is a great artist, I think the press overblows her classical influence, but she's a great song writer, and I dig her music.

Mark

[nismael]

OMG SHE IS IN KBM AND SHE SAYS STUPIDITY!

who gives a fuck? the day one of you will be on the front cover of this magazine, whatever reason the magazine have to put you there, Ill piss on the floor at the office. If you don't like the article/artist, then don't read/listen to it and go out for a walk to relax a bit instead of writing the word "superchord" 100 times a day.

[King_Ellesar]

SUPERCHORD

[Scrap]

SUPERCHORD

[nismael]

haha :wink: (superchord)

gotta admit thats funny, but come on. Time to pass on something more constructive.

[Ael]

SUPERCHORD


SUPERCHORD!!!11

[Scrap]

SUPERCHORD


SUPERCHORD!!!11

OMG TEH SHUPACHOADS!@#$$%%^&*(

UUUUUUNGH!

[Ael]

SUPERCHORD


SUPERCHORD!!!11

OMG TEH SHUPACHOADS!@#$$%%^&*(

UUUUUUNGH!

SuPeRChOrD LIKE SUPERMAN XCEPT ITS A SUPERCHRD!!!!!!!1111111

[Scrap]

SUPERCHORD


SUPERCHORD!!!11

OMG TEH SHUPACHOADS!@#$$%%^&*(

UUUUUUNGH!

SuPeRChOrD LIKE SUPERMAN XCEPT ITS A SUPERCHRD!!!!!!!1111111

DURRR TEH CUPASNORDS MAEK ME TEH CLASSLIKLEE TRAINZORED OMG MUZART SI TEH WIN OMG L@@K AT ME TITS ON TEH COVAR FROINT NOS I MEN IN THE PAGES OF TEH MAGOZNIE!!@#$%^&*((())

[nismael]

Cool! I've never seen a thread being filled so fast!

I like when my words have an effect, especially on kids :lol:

[Scrap]

Cool! I've never seen a thread being filled so fast!

I like when my words have an effect, especially on kids :lol:

OMG INSULT FROM TEH MIGHTY EMPIURE OF CUEBECK I CNAT TAKE IT SEPPUKUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MarkDTMMZ]

Those quotes win the rant were taken out of context. The superchord thing came a paragraph after she was talking about how her hands were too small to play Fats Waller. I'm honestly surprised to see such backlash against this article.

Mark

[MarkDTMMZ]

Sorry, meant "In the rant"

[Liquid Shadow]

who gives a fuck? the day one of you will be on the front cover of this magazine, whatever reason the magazine have to put you there, Ill piss on the floor at the office.


Jens Johansson is FAR superior to her as a keyboardist, but I don't think he's ever been on there, and I doubt he will be. Just because someone is on a magazine cover does not mean that they are automatically above anybody who isn't. It means that they have the background in the industry and the fanbase that warrants that type of thing.

From what you're saying, I should not criticize the music of bands like The White Stripes because they are on TV and the radio and I am not.

You're right...those geniuses are lightyears ahead of me in composing and performing music. Have you heard their live improv jams? They put the entire fusion scene to shame! When was the last time Allan Holdsworth was on MTV? Never, because he's not as good as the White Stripes!

[King_Ellesar]

SUPERCHORD


SUPERCHORD!!!11

OMG TEH SHUPACHOADS!@#$$%%^&*(

UUUUUUNGH!

SuPeRChOrD LIKE SUPERMAN XCEPT ITS A SUPERCHRD!!!!!!!1111111

DURRR TEH CUPASNORDS MAEK ME TEH CLASSLIKLEE TRAINZORED OMG MUZART SI TEH WIN OMG L@@K AT ME TITS ON TEH COVAR FROINT NOS I MEN IN THE PAGES OF TEH MAGOZNIE!!@#$%^&*((())

SEERIOUSLY!! YOU ALL ARE GETTING WAY OUT OF HAND. STOP BEING SO IMMMATUER!!1 :roll:

THERE IS ONLY OEN WERD 2 DISCRIBE MY OTURAGE AT YOUR LAMENESSESSESS:




SUPAHDUPACHORD!!!!!

[Scrap]

Hey Mario, I forgot to mention, you left your copy of Maxi.... I mean Keyboard Magazine at my place. Y'know, the one with Alicia slutting it up. Please kindly pick up this trash from my house before I use it to start a bonfire. :P

[King_Ellesar]

Hey Mario, I forgot to mention, you left your copy of Maxi.... I mean Keyboard Magazine at my place. Y'know, the one with Alicia slutting it up. Please kindly pick up this trash from my house before I use it to start a bonfire. :P


NOOOO!!! NOT MY ALICIA!

*crawling, escapes out of dungeon and runs to airport to hop on a plane to CT*

**while running to airport (for it is quite a long run), ponders the thought of a superDUPER chord, and if it is even more advanced than a superchord. and if so, what notes are superDUPER chords comprised of? have they been discovered yet?....hmmmm**

[pmarafio]

Tell you what - instead of beating the daylights out of Alicia - go try and decipher Stevie's "superchords" on "That Girl" - I think if you spend a little time pulling the correct voicings off the recording, you'll gain an appreciation for exactly what she's try to say.

I'm in the middle of doing that to prepare for a gig on Friday night - it ain't as easy as it looks!

[Scrap]

Hey Pat. Where are you playing? If my schedule is open, I'd love to see you.

[pmarafio]

On Firday, I'm in Bridgeport - a trio with a singer and drummer... A place called Robertos. Tough gig because I have to cover left hand bass too! The singer is supposed to confirm that gig tomorrow.

On Saturday I'm with the R&B band in Fairfield - a club called Bear & Grill on Black Rock. That would be a better show to catch - it's a great band with good players. Half of the band also do a progressive rock band called Scapeland Wish.

Come on down - it would be great to see you! We can discuss Superchords. LOL!

[King_Ellesar]

yeah, i see what your saying pat. stevie wonder is awesome. and i doubt i would ever be able to play like he does and it definately would be quite a challenge to get the correct voicings in the chords he uses exact and by ear. i just thought the word "Superchords" was amusing and was fun to poke fun at a bit.

good luck on the song and the gig!

[pmarafio]

Superchords!

OK, only Stevie can make shit like this work:

GMaj7/A | DMaj7 | GMaj7#11 C/F# | C/F# D/F# Em/F# |

...later....

| Abm9/Db | Bbm9/Ab | Abm9/Db | GbMaj7/Ab Am/Ab |

....later still....

| C#half-dim7 | Em/B | C#h-d7 | Em/B | Abm7 |

...and the shit sounds sweet!

Superchords in action!

[Lurion]

And The Beatles!!

[ChrisMcCoy]

I just wish Keyboard Magazine would update their website !
It still says Nov 2004 Issue of Keyboard is now available on the website!

[Axe2Grind]

I just wish I could buy KEYBOARD in the UK, nobody seems to sell it, I use to subscribe but everytime it arrived at my house, the copy was ripped and was really annoying (especially as I liked to collect them for the columns).

I do like Alicia Keys, She's got a great voice and she can play some nice stuff on piano, I've seem her playing live on UK tv (Jools Holland Show).
And I think she's the only female keyboardist who would be welcome in my bed (would have to kick out the wife first though!!!) Only joking....
:lol:

[Drusillus]

Hey Axe2Grind, do you read Sound On Sound magazine? It's from the UK, and I find it superior to Keyboard Magazine in every way :) I don't even bother with Keyboard unless there's a specific review or interview I want. On the other hand I can blindly pick up any issue of SOS and usually find at least 3-4 articles that are really interesting and informative.

[Drusillus]

And I think she's the only female keyboardist who would be welcome in my bed (would have to kick out the wife first though!!!) Only joking.... :lol:

I dunno, I think Tori Amos could stay too in my books ;)

[Axe2Grind]

Hey Axe2Grind, do you read Sound On Sound magazine? It's from the UK, and I find it superior to Keyboard Magazine in every way :) I don't even bother with Keyboard unless there's a specific review or interview I want. On the other hand I can blindly pick up any issue of SOS and usually find at least 3-4 articles that are really interesting and informative.

Yep certainly do Drusillus, its the only magazine I buy now, I can't even get guitar player anymore either (only guitar world which is aweful!), I find SOS always has great honest reviews and the readers studio's article are really interesting as well. The guys in the US are so lucky, there is so much choice, I remember when I went to Houston a couple of years ago the shops had everything...

[Axe2Grind]

And I think she's the only female keyboardist who would be welcome in my bed (would have to kick out the wife first though!!!) Only joking.... :lol:

I dunno, I think Tori Amos could stay too in my books ;)

Not sure I agree there, I saw her on MTV from the Live at Maddison Sq.Garden NY and she's getting on a bit now...I forgot about Delta Goodrum too, ooh she's nice too ......................Quick the wife's coming.. :o

[Dylan Burnett]

What the hell is Alicia Keys doing on the cover of Keyboard Magazine?

But before the rant, here's a little history.

Keyboard, in the 80s generally featured musicians such as Tony Banks, Dave Stewart, Kurt Harland, Rick Wakeman, Steve Walsh, Patrick Moraz, Richard Wright, and so on. In general, very keyboard/synth heavy guys, which back in those days meant progressive, new wave, and pop music (and more recently, the likes of Jordan Rudess). And for the most part, they were reputable musicians.

I don't have anything against female musicians. I wish there were more of them, actually. And Keyboard has featured quite a few of them, such as Tori Amos, Nellie McKay, and Norah Jones. All of them have made it in music because of their talent, not their image. So here's mark #1 against her - she is simply not in context with Keyboard's readership.

Secondly, Alicia Keys is just stupid. I mean, mind numbingly stupid.

She appears in Keyboard in skin-tight clothing, almost half naked, laying on a piano.

Now, hold on a fucking minute, did I just pick up a copy of Maxim? I didn't think so.

Okay, so there is an actual interview to be had here. Maybe there's more to her than I thought.

Nope. Check out some of these wonderful nuggets of knowledge:

"but Stevie Wonder has magic "superchords". No one really gets the whole chord. You'll get the majority of it, but there are some notes that are always missing..."

Holy shit, Stevie Wonder is holding the secret of "superchords" up his ass, which he farts out on occasion, along with happy fuzzy rabbits that squaredance over a bright rainbow. Apparently learning music theory just isn't 'hip' anymore, because you'll never learn about those magic SUPERCHORDS! Oh fuck, all you losers going to college for music education just wasted thousands upon thousands of dollars. I bet you all feel fucking stupid now, don't you?

"I practice a lot of scales now. I find that it's really important for me. It helps me move around more quickly..."

How do I even make fun of that? It's just too easy.

"I like to make up my own scales..."

Holy shit. Throw away all your theory books right now, Alicia Keys is rewriting them all herself! I say again; holy shit! She's just so revolutionary that she is able to come up with her own scales, thereby negating thousands of years of formal music structure.

Lead the way, Alicia. :P



HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH writing her own scales... GENIOUS, AND I AM THE NEW INVENTOR OF APREGIOS.

[kevmo_fan]

:lol: :lol:

@Axe2Grind
You can come and stay in Australia... Delta is EVERYWHERE here lol.

[King_Ellesar]

SUPERCHORDS!!!!

[Scrap]

OMGWTFBBQLAMO TEH SUPAHCHAODS ARE TAEKING OVRE ME ABLITIY TO TYPE OMG FATS WALLER STRIDE SO HORNY OK I POSE HALF NEKKID FOR KEBAORD MAGUZINE OMG OMG OMG

... wait, didn't this thread die, like, a year ago?

[Liquid Shadow]

It did, and it never should have. Let the triumphant song of the Power of the Supahkord ring out for all eternity my good men...do not let the kingdom fall.

[Spacehog]

I just wish I could buy KEYBOARD in the UK, nobody seems to sell it
Borders does (at least the ones in Stockport and Cambridge) and I have seen it in WHSmiths, albeit only selected ones. I usually read it in Borders, but have only bought a couple of issues (Rick Wakeman cover and Jordan Rudess cover).
As for female keyboardists (OK so I'm revisiting a very old thread, but I was offline when this appeared :)) Delta Goodrem is definitely a goody (don't like the haircut though!) and the lovely Alicia Witt is a superb pianist as well as a very talented actress...

[Rosie]

Hey guys, I think you're overreacting and I find it a little offensive.

I'm not very knowledgable on music theory as such, I just tend to play what sounds good, keep in scale, and it works. I tried to learn modes and didn't find a huge amount of sense in learning them all off, the only meaning I found of it was the obvious "go up the scale as if it was a different scale since it's a different chord" which is what I do anyway.

I know Major chords, Minor chords, Diminished Chords, Seventh chords, and some "Sus" chords and one or two others. I don't know huge amounts of anything else. I'd like to know exactly what I'm playing, but I detest the idea of writing music by what type of chord would sound good next. I want to write what I feel sounds right. So far, my limited knowledge of music theory has served me well, just knowing the basics of scales, chords, and how things like modes work has helped me quite a bit.

"Superchords" does sound a little ridiculous, but it's probably because there ISN'T An exact name for the chord she's referring to, as it more than likely isn't just one chord :P
I'm guessing she was just meaning chords with lots of notes, which could be anything, really. I'm sure she knows how much people have talked about theory before, I don't see why she should bother talking about it just for the sake of it.

I don't know, I feel really dumb now. I'm no theory expert, but I still thought I was somewhat talented. Theory doesn't equal talent by a long shot anyway - anyone with a reasonable amount of time and patience can learn theory. I don't like the idea that lack of knowledge of theory means you can't write great songs. As long as you know the basics, you can generally tell what sounds right.
Take a look at some of ther stuff I've done here( http://www.jordanrudess.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3253 - ignore tower of injustice :P). Alright, it's far from perfect, but do you really think incredible knowledge of theory would have made it sound better? More systematic maybe, but that's often not a very good thing.
I didn't even use my knowledge of chords for that, as such, I played *purely* by feeling, maybe using something resembling modes, without thinking of knowing the names in my heads.
Also, we had aguy playing the low end of the keyboard in the two 10 minute recordings, just for the laugh at the time, but it turned out quite well. He used to play piano, but he remembers very little about theory(so we had to keep to the white keys to save time).
Feeling is what counts, and I stand by it. Knowing theory might be impressive, but at the end of the day the song I'll enjoy most is the most that has feeling.
It still turned out okay in my opinion.

As for making up scales, I think the comments on that were VERY uncalled for. My guitarist who DOES craploads of musical theory still says that - because there's no bloody way everyone can know every scale. What it MEANS is "I found this scale while messing around". They're not claiming to rewrite musical theory.

If someone plays something, and it sounds good to someone - that's all that matters. Theory is only to help you do that. It doesn't make a musician.

I do agree she needs to drop the ghetto crap, though.

[ChrisMcCoy]

I'm not defending her, but I did get a call from a friend who told me she (also a keyboardist in a band) went to an Alicia Keys concert (because she got a free ticket from a friend) and reported that she was actually a very good keyboardist and that her piano playing was really good.
I can't say for sure since I wasnt' there.
Personally I'm not a fan of her music at all.
And yes, she get's airplay on our identity challenged "Smooth Jazz" radio station in Washington DC (unfortunately).
C.

[John]

I only read a few of the post. I just didn't have time. But I'd like to learn some of those SUPERCHORDS. Only if I knew where to find them. I'd try them myself, but I'm afraid that I'd always be missing a couple of notes.

[John]

If she is playing truley live performance, I'll respect her for that. Anyone that performs live gets at least a little respect from me.

[Limited]

Since I don't like her music, she doesn't interest me; but her comments in the interview are funny (and dumb).

[Grey Loki]

I Myust Fynd T3h Supak0rdz!

(+1)

[King_Ellesar]

It did, and it never should have. Let the triumphant song of the Power of the Supahkord ring out for all eternity my good men...do not let the kingdom fall.




lol!!!!!!!!

[ReaPeR]

What??? Looking past the tru-metal-macho-man pseudo-philosophy in manowar?? If you do that what is the point in listening to manowar? Even the fricking chord progresions in their sweetest ballad sugest a true-metal-macho-man attitude! Everything manowar composes, writes or does is true-metal!! Even when they go to the loo!! Thats why they are one of the best bands out there (and also one, if not THE, cheesyest). Grab your sword and stand up to the fight, brother!!

P.D: if you're not into metal, you are not my friend!


111111111
Let's use the mighty true holy power of steel of SUPERCHORDZZZZ


PS: listen to the NANOWAR... they're the parody of the manowar and other power metal bandz... see the video of "true metal of steel"

[Michael Troy]

111111111
Let's use the mighty true holy power of steel of SUPERCHORDZZZZ


PS: listen to the NANOWAR... they're the parody of the manowar and other power metal bandz... see the video of "true metal of steel"


Ive heard of Stravinsky's "skyscraper" chords but maybe they REALLY should've been called...

SUUUUUUUUUUPERCHORDSSSSSSSSSS!:wink:

Introducing the Ashley Simpson of the keyboards,

Alicia Keys!!!!

[maJ estY]

Oh well, I just thought that there's a NEW issue with Alicia Keys out new, because I also remember this topic, but I immediately remembered the quotes of Scrap. I will never forget when I read that she'd be creating her own scales. :D

[rifaa]

Oh well, I just thought that there's a NEW issue with Alicia Keys out new, because I also remember this topic, but I immediately remembered the quotes of Scrap. I will never forget when I read that she'd be creating her own scales. :D


Maybe she´s discovered another revolutionary scale... Now that would really call for another title story ;-)

[Omega Monkey]

Guys, guys, guys...

We have MUCH bigger enemies out there in music land. ASHLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SIMPSON is probably making a new album right now! We need to first focus on the worst offenders (can someone get a sniper rifle and use it on Jack White, PLEASE?) then we can work our way up to Keys

[rifaa]

Guys, guys, guys...

We have MUCH bigger enemies out there in music land. ASHLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SIMPSON is probably making a new album right now! We need to first focus on the worst offenders (can someone get a sniper rifle and use it on Jack White, PLEASE?) then we can work our way up to Keys

Maybe she includes the famous Saturday Night Live video as a bonus...:biggrin:

[Semmi78]

it's funny you know, people in my environment (who listen to top 50 stuff only) really think she is a great classical-pianist and that she has some great chops.
The fact is that if a random megahit guy hits a note on a piano, he is automatically called a pianist and idiolised like that.

And if it sells, than an article in Keyboard-magazine is logical.

[ChrisMcCoy]

Guys, guys, guys...

We have MUCH bigger enemies out there in music land. ASHLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SIMPSON is probably making a new album right now!

Now that IS scary !!!! Maybe the record label will buy her a teleprompter so she doesn't screw up any more lip-syncs ! When in the world are record companies going to start signing TALENT again ??? Arrrrrrrrrrgh !!!!

[Omega Monkey]

Only when people refuse to accept (ie buy) crap. But conveniently for the labels, they have conditioned the mass public to value crap over talent. So now, talent is actually seen as a liability.

[Grey Loki]

Man, I love this thread.

What happened to the 'I Hate Alicia Keys' one?