Standbuilder..you old geezer!!!

[Over The Edge]

It's so good to have you back on the forum Patrick!
I missed your sage infinite wisdom and wisecracks that only
a man of your advanced age can provide.

Here now, I pay tribute to you with a joke which you will clearly
relate to . :lol:


An 85 year old man visits his doctor to get a sperm count. The geezer's given a jar and told to bring back a sample. The next day he returns to the doctor with an empty jar.

What happened? says the doctor.

Well, the old man starts, I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left -- nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called Evelyn, the lady next door, but still nothing.

The doctor bursts out, You asked your neighbor?

Yep, No matter what we tried we couldn't get that damn jar open. :lol: :lol: :lol:


FL
www.franklucas.net

[TheVillageMidiot]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!

[kevmo_fan]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: LOL!!!!!!
MATE YOU ARE A LEGEND!

[merijn]

hahahaha fantastic!

[nismael]

hahaha nice one! Ill try to remember it!

[hephiroth]

lol, that is brilliant

ohhh man...haha

-jeff-

[StandBuilder]

OK then, he who witness the fall of the Roman Empire... :P

Another one. I'll have to translate it in English, so I hope it is clear to you... and the rest.


A couple is coming back from their vacation. They have been driving for hours and they are getting really tired, so they decide to find a hotel.
In Las Vegas they find a hotel, they check in and tell the desk employee
to wake them in about 5 hours.

Five hours later, they are woken up.
They pack their luggage and check out.
Then, the guy receives a bill of $350,--.

"$350,-- for five hours of sleep", says the guy. "This is impossible"...
THe clerck calls the manager and after a few minutes, he shows up...WITH the explaination.
"Sir", he says. "At this hotel, we have the best musicians in the world, a casino and drinks for free, the whole evening".

"But we didn't make any use of it, we were only here to sleep", is the answer.
"I'm sorry,but everything was here, you could have made use of it, so you still have to pay the full amount".

The guy is pissed off, but he writes out a check and hands it over to the manager.
"Excuse me sir", the manager says, "this is only $100,--".
"Yes and $250,-- is for fucking my wife".
"Fucking your wife??? I haven't fucked her at all!!!".

"OK", says the guy...
"She was here the whole evening, so you could have made use of her".

Stainlessly,

Patrick

[nismael]

Not bad, not bad hehe

I would rate it 7.5 out of 10 and Over the Edge would get 9 out of 10!

Any other competitors?

[King_Ellesar]

i may be telling this wrong, but here goes...

two muffins are put into an oven on a tray one day. one muffin said to the other, "AHH! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!!!"....the other one replied in shock saying...

"AHHHHHHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

:lol:

[nismael]

4 out of 10... :wink:

[Eric Zane]

:lol:

Way to go Patrick!

[godsmcktma2]

Been awhile since ive roamed these here forums...here's one.


I went to an audition the other day, the cast call was for 12 people dressed as clouds. 14 people showed up and already it was overcast.


...


Doug

[kevmo_fan]

lolololol NICE WORK EVERYONE!
Hrmmm... must admit I liked Patrick's most lol.