JR Forum Rap (EXPLICIT!!!)

[Enigma™]

Okay. here's my 10 minute long disclaimer:

(waits 9 minutes)
"The contents of the following link is not the opinion of Jordan Rudess, the website, or anything remotely related. The contents of the link contain EXPLICIT LANGUAGE and are not suitable for people under the age of 18 or something like that.
The opinions expressed herein are purely comedic in nature, and are not intended to offending anyone specific. If your name happens to be Eric, I do apologise for any inconvience this may cause, however the name is purely coincidental as well.
If you are offended by this "rap song" contained in this link, don't listen to it again. If you ARE offended, there's a good chance you fall into one of the categories listed in the "rap song" and are hereby laughed at.
If you're offended by this post, please don't bother to download the "rap song" because it's guarenteed that you'll be offended. But if you're that easily offended, I pity you.

AGAIN -

This is just a clip for fun. I was messing around with a rap beat I came up with and then sent it to a few of my friends *thanks Brett, Cory, Jordan, Ael, and all others for assisting me with the lyrics and ideas contained in here. *
It DOES contain offensive/explicit material and I am warning you now, if you're offended easily then don't bother looking.

If you're looking for a good laugh though - by all means ;)

I also disclaim that I resemble a rapper, eminem, dr.dre, snoop dog, or anything resembling a lyrical musician. Any instances that seem similar are purely coincidental.

In any case, for those who are still interested:

www.matrixscreensaver.150m.com/files/Wanna%20Talk.mp3

This rap's called:
Wanna Talk.

:D

[Taurus]

Hahahahhaa man, thats craptastic! Been laughing my ass off while listening this and it really turned out well. Some great mixing too ;)

Go take a listen to this guys! Awsome LOL

100/100

[Graffitiworkrob]

Haha this is great, good job Dave, but we still need to get the dancing girlies :wink:

[Drusillus]

LOL nice work.

"Click. Post Deleted. F&$% You." -- classic :P

Now you just need to add a screaming Liquid T Lead to the end ;)

[Ehren]

Very Nice. I love it.

[jordanrudessjr]

That was awsome man!!
So when is the music video coming out?? :lol:

-JRJR

[Taurus]

Enigma, you sound like Eminem GAWD DEM!! :lol: 8)

[hephiroth]

hahahaha, enigma, that's priceless...i love your production quality...lol

oh, what nerds we are 8)

-jeff-

[Enigma™]

Thanks so much guys!
I never expected such a positive reaction... It started off by me messing with my Triton, playing with some drum sounds until I came across a decent hip-hop kit... added some bass, and I had a whole rhythmn section. Then I added the fatty horns that sound like they came from the Purple Pills *D12* production... So I based a sound off of that.
Natural progression was to have me sound like eminem. I did my best in the chours, the rest was basically me just struggling to make the words fall on the beat. *with decent enough pronounciation to be understood*
The lyrics writing was a huge conglomeration from a few different people - I had Cory *scrappy*, Brett *Togakure*, Jordan *Bakerman* (who really didn't contribute, but he helped me spell some of the words)and Ael *ael ;)* help me out with the concepts and some of the lyrics. Actually most of the lyrics were their ideas, I just put them into physical form.
So, thanks for the positive feedback everyone. I had a blast laughing over great ideas they all put out there, it's too bad they didn't all make it into the song, but who knows... there might be another in production until we have a JR forum RAP CD OMG!! but whatever ;)

It's all good right?

[Over The Edge]

Man, you da originuh gangsta...aaaaaaight!?




FL
www.franklucas.net

[Slash17]

ok dude, this was AWESOME. i did something slightly similar, i wrote and recorded a heavy metal song for my world of warcraft guild, and the recording quality and mixing was lame (considering i only had a headset mic and a free mixing program). what did you use to record this? i wish i could make out more of the lyrics because the ones i could make out were hilarious. this kicked ass man, great job.

[Omega Monkey]

Dude, Dave you rock man! That was awesome. It was like the JR version of Stan or something!

Anyway, I think you should definitely post the lyrics (maybe offsite if you think thats necessary), so we can all catch all the nuances some of which are tricky to hear on the recording.

But good job man!

[sverd]

Hehe, twas very funny. Yeah, post the lyrics!

[Enigma™]

okay, lyrics are below:


__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________

WARNING: don't scroll down if you're offended or a pussy LOL *in other words, if you're offended by what I just said, go away*

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________



Wanna Talk

Intro

(Dear Jordan Rudess, My name is Eric. Someday, I wanna be just like you. Cuz, I think you're the greatest guy of

all... I mean, I see you play the keyboards on the videos and stuff, and I think that's super cool! I saw one of

the keyboards at a music place, and I tried to play it... and you must be really good, because it was really hard

to play. I didn't understand it at ALL. Anyway, I just wanted to write you to say: I think someday you and I

should be best friends...)

Yo, this is Enigma.
This is a side of me ain't none of you ever seen before...
now I got myself a couple of things I wanna get off my chest,
and I want you guys to listen to, so whenever you're ready
listen up,

And check it out;



We're gunna start a little story about this guy named eric
always asking "who's better, JR, Kevin or Derek"
Not like it really ever seems to matter
but I'm sick of all this mother fuckin excess chatter

wastin' a thread to another retard purpose
then someone replies and brings the post to the surface
shit another newb, seem to be coming in quickly
so I delete some posts, never seen by Salty

but posts like that happen every other day
by a billion different people, and I start to prey
and I pray and I say until my hair goes grey
or until it turns out to be a fuckin' cliche'

'cause I'm wastin my breath, they don't listen to me
even though there's a million other posts that they just don't see
like they can't read it because its worded diffe-rently
I wish they'd get a clue and not fuckin hold it against me

so back to Eric, my pretend friend, good old newb
just the whole idea of being mis-construed
makes you want to go and get a big ol' tube
now bend over just start applying the lube

because you know what happens next, of course, we all do
my guess is that you've been through it all too
another newb comes in and he aims right at you
it's time to unleash the fuckin wrath from inside you

(hook)
muthafucka how you wanna talk to me
lemme tell you now, this how it's gonna be
I a god around here, you better listen to me
'cause if you don't, I'll be the last thing you see

muthafucka how you wanna talk to me
lemme tell you now, this how it's gonna be
I a god around here, you better listen to me
'cause if you don't, I'll be the last thing you see
(/Hook)



What's the matter newbie are you Scared? you're breathin tough?
you sound just like your mommy did when I did her rough
and ya' sister too, cuz she likes it that hard
Just like you, when you see JAY-AR"

hey man, i heard that little clip of your new lead
you were wanking so hard you're gonna make your dick bleed
You ripped it right off, now your dick is free
you did the world a favor, because now you can't breed

now before we continue I'll share some things I despise
let's make a list: spelling, grammer, one line replys,
those fucking +1 posts, ain't got nothing better to do?
Click, post deleted, and FUCK YOU TOO.

Another thing I remembered that really gets me angry
is Asking JR doing newbie shows in "sanctuarys"
*It's really nice here, we've got a barn where it's hilly (moo in the background)
you can sleep with our cows here Jordan, VIVA CHILE!!!!!*


Hook


Bridge:
Now there's a softer side that I want you to hear
before you label me a jerk something insincere
I know just what it's like, having someone to adore
I admire him too, I may like him way more

then even most of you here, but my problem is this
I'm not obsessive, but ignorance is bliss;
those newbies don't care, and all that shit bugs me
when they ask all day long, and they don't bother to see

that this place is for fun, and then they take that away
they go messin' shit up, and then they won't go away
I wish they would leave, and here's where it ends
when they come in and start insulting all of my friends

so this is my stand, I'm getting upset
fucking newbs, they just don't understand yet
something's gunna change, and I'll tell you why
'cause this mother fucking burning rage inside me won't die


Hook x2


We're gunna talk our newbie eric one more time
before we finish this rap, before we finish this rhyme
and I say WE, because, that I think it's yours too,
and if it weren't, why is what I'm sayin' true?

so Eric, what would you like to say in return
HA missed your chance, can't you feel it burn
like chlamydia, that you musta got it from your mom
is it me, or did something there sound totally wrong?

Anyway, here we are, it's nearing the top
remember my words, I don't want them to stop
'cause there's a message, what it is, I dunno
fuck it. Let's just get on with the show

Newbies: while you're here, I'll show you something for fun
it's called a PC, and I'm sure you're farmiliar with one
it came in a box, pack it up, just return it or lose it
'cause you're too fucking stupid to know how to use it.


hook


Yeah.
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________


There it is folks :)

[pHaTaL_eRrOr]

Wow, you're a real jerk, Enigma. :mrgreen:

I'm glad something could make me laugh today.... thanks for sharing with us. \m/

[lighthouse]

Well said dude! 8)

[Lyngs]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

OMG.... this is the funniest rap EVER!! :lol:

[Lyngs]

Double post.... But I'll say it again: Awesome work Dave! (And awesome lyrics, guys!) :wink:

[keys76]

\m/
This totall rocks!!

Sounds 'wheely' great!

Jeroen

[YtsejAmir]

cool song enigma 8)
:lol:

[evadedcadence]

heh. good work.

i wonder if anyone really gets it, though. :P


oh.. and.. i'm thinking of buying a keyboard. which should i get, a korg or a casio?! :P

[Enigma™]

Good call 'Chele... You hit the nail right on the head :)

[Over The Edge]

Frankly, I'm offended!!! :P (Runs away now)




FL
www.franklucas.net

[Ael]

Awesome!! This is great, sorry I couldn't rap on this, I didn't have enough coherent ideas.

[Tigerfolly]

okay, lyrics are below:

There it is folks :)

Out fucking standing.

[Phred]

Shouldn't this be in the showoff forum? (* Don't hurt me*)

What else should I say to make this more than a one line reply?

+1 maybe? ;)

[hephiroth]

lol...after listening again with the lyrics, i just have to say that that rap is outstanding beyond belief...and even though it's taylor-fitted to JR's forum, the same concepts apply to ALL forums...fucking newbs...a;sldkfja;sldkfjas;l ACK...we hates them, precious...

-jeff-

+1 +1 +1 :twisted:

[Bastardo Demono]

this is hilarious beyond belief :)

[Cary]

one line replies rule.

[keys76]

+1

:wink:

Jeroen

[Ael]

Hey, I have Casio but the jordan he use Korg, which si bettar because i want two sound just like him and want to learn how to play stream of consciousness cause omg it is like the best song evar and i want to know how he plays with one hand and not two because i have two but i dont like my left hand because it's slow and jayars is fast so should i download a trumpet sound?

[Enigma™]

Frankly, I'm offended!!! :P (Runs away now)




FL
www.franklucas.net

Old people usually are offended easily :p

You know we love you Frank lol :D

[evadedcadence]

Hey, I have Casio but the jordan he use Korg, which si bettar because i want two sound just like him and want to learn how to play stream of consciousness cause omg it is like the best song evar and i want to know how he plays with one hand and not two because i have two but i dont like my left hand because it's slow and jayars is fast so should i download a trumpet sound?

LMAO! :lol:

my advice to you regarding your left hand? cut it off.. it will never be fast enough.

:wink:

[maJ estY]

heh. good work.

i wonder if anyone really gets it, though. :P

Yes, I think so - even I got it! ;)

Just wanted to post in this topic, too, since I took the time to download this huge file. ;)
I've read the lyrics before listening to the MP3 and I really laughed when I got the "message" of the song and read all the things you mentioned and did not forget. :D

Just like I said, the lyrics are great. The music, however... To be honest, I was not able to listen to the whole song. I just HAD to hit the stop button, because such music simply makes me sick! I don't understand the sung lyrics anyway. Almost only the people whose native language is English understand that, the lyrics are also a bit too low in the mix imo. So, I just listened to the music and I thought that I was really disappointed that someone like Dave is able to compose something like THAT.

:D

Anyway, the idea is awesome. Be careful that your song won't become a hit in the rap scene - I remind you of the Bloodhound Gang... :roll:

[Enigma™]

heh. good work.

i wonder if anyone really gets it, though. :P

Yes, I think so - even I got it! ;) ...


...Just like I said, the lyrics are great. The music, however... To be honest, I was not able to listen to the whole song. I just HAD to hit the stop button, because such music simply makes me sick!...

That last comment makes me think although you heard the words you didn't get the message at all. You have to read between the lines, it's more then just about newbies and their obession with JR... there's more to it then that and newbie doesn't necessarily mean someone who's only been on this forum for a short time.

Keep that in mind and listen to it again man.

[Taurus]

I think Dave intented this all, Majesty, i bet he doesnt like rap/R&B that much either. Perhaps even detest it like i do. But it was meant for fun.

Dave, are you gonna be the next generation Eminem? The Enigmanem?!! :lol: Dude give up your MAGNIFICENT KEYBOARD-HANDS and continue this RAP-production OMG WTF!!! FORGET YAR JR-WANNABE-DREAMS!!! U R TEH GANGSTARZZZ!!

...eh no, forget that thought, bad idea :-)

Anyways, it turned out very well for even me, a hater of this kind of style, to like it. Its made for fun, and its made to listen for fun.

To be honest, i wouldnt be surprised if this came from a real record. The beats, the awsome phat brasssound...
However, the lyrics make it obvious it was targeted to mostly US, the forum users ;)

Such an isolated target-group.. :P (even that dave managed to simulate well haha! :) )

[evadedcadence]

Keep that in mind and listen to it again man.

LMAO







+1

[Enigma™]

Thanks dude ;)

Actually, everything came from within the Triton... The Brass, Bass, and the hiphop kit I used, it's all from here :)

lol

[Phred]

The use of Rap is very important for the message, and I thought it was put across beutifully.

You rock, er rap.

[Enigma™]

thanks Phred - I wanted that to be a major theme but didn't want to come right out and say it, however I REALLY appreciate that SOMEONE caught at least PART of what I was trying to convey :D

[The White Raven]

*It's really nice here, we've got a barn where it's hilly (moo in the background)
you can sleep with our cows here Jordan, VIVA CHILE!!!!!*



indirect message TO ME?????



pd: in CHILE you DON'T sleep with the cows


http://www.fortunecity.es/salsa/clasica/407/bandera.gif[/quote]

[The White Raven]

anyway....very funny

and i can't stop laughing at the VIVA CHILE part

[Taurus]

Yeah thats a killer..

This song made it on my holiday-cdr for next week! Gonna sleep between the cows, enjoy nature holiday!! *sniff* ahhh... And have a nice swim in the sea. Ill be gone for 10 days so, ya'll take care!!

:lol:

[Enigma™]

anyway....very funny

and i can't stop laughing at the VIVA CHILE part

I'd be lying if I said I didn't direct that to you somewhat ;) It wasn't ment specifically, and the cow isn't to be taken literally. It's a metaphorical cow.

MOO :)

[juxtapose]

Hi guys I'm new to this forum... I play keys too yeah.

Just a few words about the rap: I thought it was quite harsh upon all the ignorant people, but come to think of it, I'm sure it's been happening for quite some time so Enigma was getting kinda frustrated with the nonsense.

Hmmm, some hardcore stuff going on around here...

[Enigma™]

dude - not ment so seriously, but very problematic hidden underlying message. *A lot of truth said in jest* in any case, I don't think it was THAT harsh, mostly kidding around ;) BUT...


Yeah, some of it was kinda insulting, but not directed at anyone specific so it's cool lol :)


By the way, Welcome to the Board!! :D

[OrpheusTheBard]

Listening to this was the funniest moment of my whole day man.. Definetly great, Dave. The mixing sounds really professional. Also, the way the song begins is so hilarious :lol: Rap on! :P

Orpheus

[Omega Monkey]

I think the most hilarious part is the voice of Eric. "Deah Joahdan Rudess, my nem is Er ic" LOL! Just the inflection and everything is really funny with that sort of pseudo european accent.

Also the "Vive Chile!" part the way it trails off.

[King_Ellesar]

Laughing My Anus Off! it was very amusing. mostly because of the truth behind it. fabulous work Dave!

It's a metaphorical cow.

MOO


thats deep, man. real deep.


:lol:

[Taurus]

(Enigma also put out a warning in the topic in the first place)

[Lyngs]

I saw one of the keyboards at a music place, and I tried to play it... and you must be really good, because it was really hard to play.

:lol: LOL

[evadedcadence]

It wasn't ment specifically, and the cow isn't to be taken literally. It's a metaphorical cow.

MOO :)


hmmm.. can we all sleep with metaphorical cows?

or do we have to live in chilie to sleep with metaphorical cows?

:P

[Enigma™]

heh, maybe the metaphorical cow isn't a place, but the current STATE of a particular place ;)

[The White Raven]

It wasn't ment specifically, and the cow isn't to be taken literally. It's a metaphorical cow.

MOO :)


hmmm.. can we all sleep with metaphorical cows?

or do we have to live in chilie to sleep with metaphorical cows?

:P


i have lived in chile my entire life and i have never slept with a metaphorical cow :wink:

or ...are you trying to say that all the womens around here are big and fat??????? :evil: :evil:


pd: there are very hot chicks around here. ask to the hot chik guy. he must know about it.

[The White Raven]

----just a few words:---



i'm not angry at all.

i taked this as a joke. <------all the "viva CHILE" part

and i have laughed a lot.

don't think i'm angry or anything like that.

[Ael]

i taked this as a joke.

[Lyngs]

i taked this as a joke.

Stupid Spelling-award of today, huh? :lol:

We get the meaning... :wink:

[Enigma™]

It wasn't ment specifically, and the cow isn't to be taken literally. It's a metaphorical cow.

MOO :)


hmmm.. can we all sleep with metaphorical cows?

or do we have to live in chilie to sleep with metaphorical cows?

:P


i have lived in chile my entire life and i have never slept with a metaphorical cow :wink:

or ...are you trying to say that all the womens around here are big and fat??????? :evil: :evil:


pd: there are very hot chicks around here. ask to the hot chik guy. he must know about it.

I don't know how you got metaphorical Cow = all chilean women are fat... I never implied that at all.

However what it DOES proove is that there is more truth to my little "rap" then I guess I initally intended ;)

[The White Raven]

i taked this as a joke.

Stupid Spelling-award of today, huh? :lol:

We get the meaning... :wink:


sorry.....i don't know A LOT of english.....and....as i said a lot of times before:

SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH

EDIT: how do you spell it correctly?

[The White Raven]

It wasn't ment specifically, and the cow isn't to be taken literally. It's a metaphorical cow.

MOO :)


hmmm.. can we all sleep with metaphorical cows?

or do we have to live in chilie to sleep with metaphorical cows?

:P


i have lived in chile my entire life and i have never slept with a metaphorical cow :wink:

or ...are you trying to say that all the womens around here are big and fat??????? :evil: :evil:


pd: there are very hot chicks around here. ask to the hot chik guy. he must know about it.

I don't know how you got metaphorical Cow = all chilean women are fat... I never implied that at all.

However what it DOES proove is that there is more truth to my little "rap" then I guess I initally intended ;)


completely false

ask to the others chileans on this forum about the sexy chilean womens :wink:

[Enigma™]

It wasn't ment specifically, and the cow isn't to be taken literally. It's a metaphorical cow.

MOO :)


hmmm.. can we all sleep with metaphorical cows?

or do we have to live in chilie to sleep with metaphorical cows?

:P


i have lived in chile my entire life and i have never slept with a metaphorical cow :wink:

or ...are you trying to say that all the womens around here are big and fat??????? :evil: :evil:


pd: there are very hot chicks around here. ask to the hot chik guy. he must know about it.

I don't know how you got metaphorical Cow = all chilean women are fat... I never implied that at all.

However what it DOES proove is that there is more truth to my little "rap" then I guess I initally intended ;)


completely false

ask to the others chileans on this forum about the sexy chilean womens :wink:

*Shrugs, then walks away*
some people will never "get it" :roll:

[The White Raven]

It wasn't ment specifically, and the cow isn't to be taken literally. It's a metaphorical cow.

MOO :)


hmmm.. can we all sleep with metaphorical cows?

or do we have to live in chilie to sleep with metaphorical cows?

:P


i have lived in chile my entire life and i have never slept with a metaphorical cow :wink:

or ...are you trying to say that all the womens around here are big and fat??????? :evil: :evil:


pd: there are very hot chicks around here. ask to the hot chik guy. he must know about it.

I don't know how you got metaphorical Cow = all chilean women are fat... I never implied that at all.

However what it DOES proove is that there is more truth to my little "rap" then I guess I initally intended ;)


completely false

ask to the others chileans on this forum about the sexy chilean womens :wink:

*Shrugs, then walks away*
some people will never "get it" :roll:

finally got it....

[evadedcadence]

moo.

[Enigma™]

moo.
Thank you :)

That made me laugh!

[Mogain]

Hey Dave.... I want to hear the song, but my comp. wont let me... WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! :cry:

[MetalliJedi]

Enigma.... that rap rocks!

Now everytime I see chileans on the crowd while watching the olympic games transmitions inmediately I remember your VIVA CHILE and I grin.

[lighthouse]

a Rap that Rocks??? hmm.......somethings wrong here! :D


Juan Pablo

[MetalliJedi]

ooops

well it´s a good rap, and this comment comes from someone that HATES rap.

[The White Raven]

Enigma.... that rap rocks!

Now everytime I see chileans on the crowd while watching the olympic games transmitions inmediately I remember your VIVA CHILE and I grin.

there 're chileans all over the world.

mardy fish, after loosing the tennis single final said that he can't get out of his head teh CHI-CHI-CHI-LE-LE-LE that the chileans shout all the match

if someone saw the match, you know what i'm talking.

N.Massu was sleeping i n the match, he ca not even stand on his foot but suddenly he waked up in the 4th set and won the match

[The White Raven]

Enigma.... that rap rocks!

Now everytime I see chileans on the crowd while watching the olympic games transmitions inmediately I remember your VIVA CHILE and I grin.

there 're chileans all over the world.

mardy fish, after loosing the tennis single final said that he can't get out of his head teh CHI-CHI-CHI-LE-LE-LE that the chileans shout all the match

if someone saw the match, you know what i'm talking.

N.Massu was sleeping i n the match, he ca not even stand on his foot but suddenly he waked up in the 4th set and won the match

he cannot believe tyhat he lost the match....he ha the match on his hand but chile stole it :twisted:

[VintageMan]

ooops

well it´s a good rap, and this comment comes from someone that HATES rap.

maybe it's because you can relate to it. i think that the song relating to your situation it is what rap is all about(and almost any other kind of lyric-based music).so no wonder why it is so popular in the ghettos, since it is the main subject of rap songs.

and by the way...
enigma, did you resized the audio parts of your vocal? sure they sound sped up and high pitched. or maybe, how about a nice and warm cup of puberty hehe :wink:

[Enigma™]

No I didn't change it at all. I was purposely going for a higher pitched sound *it seems to cut through the mix better then lower without effects and it's easier to hear things when pronounced at a fast speed*

Yeah, no need for puberty here dude - I'm 23 :D

Anyway, no speeding up or vocal editing was done, I just thought that having it sound a touch like eminem besides for recording purposes would serve the alternate purposes I was going for :)

[MetalliJedi]

maybe it's because you can relate to it. i think that the song relating to your situation it is what rap is all about(and almost any other kind of lyric-based music).so no wonder why it is so popular in the ghettos, since it is the main subject of rap songs.


:? (crickets sound in the background) I don´t fully understand your comment, how it relates to my situation? what situation are you talking about?

[VintageMan]

metallijedi

i mean, it relates to your situation since you post on these forums and knows the things enigma says on the song.of course this rap song would have no effect on people that haven't been here for some time. and i said that most of the rap songs tell about life on the streets,ghettos and such, then people who are familiar with those environments can relate easier and acquire a liking to these songs.

p.s. sorry about my english, i know it sucks :)

[The Kibodis]

WOW...amazing rapping dudeeeee :lol:

[Lyngs]

oh man - Dave, I think that one day you and I should be BEST friends... You are my hero! :) :lol:

Just found this rap on my harddrive again and looped it in winamp - I am laughing my ass off every time I hear it!

Anyway - I just wanted to bump this thread to the surface once more to give a little extra credit to this awesome rap, amazing work, Dave! :wink: